Before I get too far into this post, I must remind you, Pinterest queen, I am not. I’ve tried the “best broccoli ever” which ended up looking like a Keebler village had been torched, I attempted “three ingredient pancakes” which I decided would more aptly be named, “banana eggs” and I’ve had many more fails than victories… especially when Pinterest was in its infancy.
Also, I’ve not always been the best at follow-through. In fact, I recently declared myself a potty school dropout. Because with three little boys, sometimes things work. And sometimes things don’t. And sometimes it’s less stressful to stop and try again when you feel everyone is more ready. I’m not a teacher. I’m don’t have a degree in children. What I am is a mama to three little firey boys who wants to not hate them at the end of every day.
Because friend. It’s summer. My Oldest {the 8 yo} and I recently had a heart to heart discussion on testosterone. My wee one {the 3 yo} is in full throttle threenagerdom. And the one in the middle {the 5 yo}, the Middlest, is actually pretty fantastic these days. But seriously, they battle. They bicker. They get all brothery on each other. And mama ain’t got time for their backtalk, brawls, and breakdowns.
So. Together we determined our plan of attack. Wait for it. Drumroll… Pins and needles….
Consequences and rewards.
I know. It isn’t groundbreaking. It isn’t Pinterest-worthy. And heck. I haven’t a clue if it will even work.
But this is how we be rollin’ {rollin rollin rollin rollin what?! keep rollin rollin rollin rollin…} around these parts for the boys of summer.
Here are the “supplies”:
2 clear containers {preferably glass because you want your kids to break them. Just kidding. Plastic. Always and forever. Or at least until age 10.}
1 roll of carnival tickets {please don’t steal from a carnival. Although that works if necessary}
Large popsicle sticks {the tongue depressor kind. Just take handfuls from your kids’ wellness exams}
So here’s what we did. The troops and I gathered for a meeting of the mamas and the boys. And we headed to Nobbies. Nobbies is a store locally that carries party supplies. I am guessing you could go to WalMart or order from Amazon as well.
We picked up a roll of carnival tickets. And the tongue depressors. {And got terribly distracted searching for said items wherein I had to “redirect” several times and nearly lost my shit by the time they were begging for the register candy. Luckily I was packing a flask. Just kidding. I do not day drink. No judgment though if you do;)}
We took the supplies home and I rustled up two dollar store plastic containers we were no longer using and wrote on each one.
The first one: Consequence jar
The second one: Brehm Bucks
{please note the professional level of photography on my blog}
And then, we came up with consequences and wrote them on the sticks. One consequence per stick {although I did write an alternate consequence for the Wee one because let’s be real even if he could fold his laundry it would just result in insanity for mama. And the whole point of this is so mama doesn’t go completely mad.}
We put the consequences in the jar labeled Consequence Jar {I know. Novel idea, right?}.
And the tickets stay in the rolls.
So, when the boys go all nutty bananas on each other or when they start getting smack talky with me, “Pull a consequence.” When they don’t get their responsibilites done, “Pull a consequence.” And when they tattle, “You can both draw a consequence.”
Just the threat of the consequences seems to have them shaking in their boots a little. And since they thought it was so fun coming up with the consequences, they are fully aware that it’s all resting on their luck or bad luck of the draw.
But we’re not all about bad bad bad bad boys around these parts. We also love positive reinforcement. I know. Maybe it’s not your thing but it’s mine so check it. The tickets get unrolled when the kiddos do something above and beyond, worthy of getting a pat on the back. When the Oldest grabs the Littlest out of the crib for me. When the Middlest reads on his own for an hour just because. When they pick up things without asking. Or when someone is in a particularly sunny state, “Grab x amount of tickets” and then, “Drop em in the Brehm bucks bucket.” All the boys’ tickets go in the jar together and when it’s full, they get to have a group prize. Because the family who rocks together wins together.
Tickets never get taken out for negative behavior. That’s what the consequence jar is for. There are also two different types of sticks — regular and people ones — in the event that something really dirty occurs. Then, it’s a bigger consequence, a people stick.
Why so formal, you might be wondering. Well… we’ve gone without any real structure and my kiddos just suck at that. We don’t have a lot of structure in our schedule from day to day but they definitely do better in general and are more respectful when they know what is expected of them. And this way, they have very clear understanding of the lay of the land. Timeouts don’t work here anymore. And often have additional consequences due to the throwdown that occurs when sentenced to the depths of ones’ bedroom. So this way, mama doesn’t have to think of something that will make them calm down or refocus, on the fly. And we don’t have to have a big back and forth discussion where the Oldest yells, “Fine. I will. I don’t care.” Because obv that warrants another consequence drawn. Obvs.
Additionally, the Oldest LOVED the clip system and the “fuzzy jar” at school… two systems of positive reinforcement… and responded extremely well to it so it’s a good way to carry the school methods over to home.
So that’s our “revolutionary summer behavior plan.” It may work. It may go bust. But it was easy enough and cheap enough that it is worth a try.
…
Do you do anything at your house during the summer months to keep your kiddos on track? Have you tried things in the past that just don’t work? Let’s get loud, mamas and papas and caregivers… what works?!
