Dear, Mama.
I know. You just held your fresh babe for the first time. You looked at that baby and you felt your body become 3/4 heart and the other quarter, mush. You, maybe just silently, found yourself counting the fingers and toes. You found yourself staring and wondering how you never believed in love at first kick until. You found yourself realizing that maybe you really don’t know a thing about raising a human. It’s okay. No one else does either. And guess what. No one has every known your human which means you have a leg up on all the people with all the opinions.
If I had any advice, it would be these three things:
- Take the help. For real. TAKE THE HELP. You don’t want to. I know it. But you never know when the next offer will come. And this is a marathon not a sprint. Take the help and know that it doesn’t make you weak. It makes you stronger in the long run. Take the help and take a nap. Or get a pedicure. Take a shower {seriously. you smell like poop and spit up and sleepless nights}. Or sit in a room by yourself without someone needing you. Take the help.
- Take the picture. For real. Take as many damn pictures as you want and don’t feel ONE ounce of guilt over it. This baby is changing faster than any of us ever change in our adult lives. Take the pictures all you want of them snuggled up on you. Of their funny faces. Of your finger being held in your hand. Appreciate the miracle that is a new human on an old earth. Of the real moments. And don’t worry about disclaiming yes… another photo of my fresh babe. If people need a disclaimer, they are not your people anyway. Oh. But make sure you are in the picture sometimes. You might not be obsessed with your current post-maternity state…. but in the words of me — eff that s. Take the picture.
- Be real. You don’t need to pretend that you’re not exhausted. We get it. You don’t need to have lipstick on and your hair done and matching outfits with this fresh kid. We get it. YOU JUST POPPED OUT A HUMAN FROM YOUR BODY… it took months to get that human ready, give it at least 9 months before you feel like you have to have any sort of shit together. And even then, don’t stress if you are a hot mess express. WE ALL ARE. You don’t need to have the dishes done. The body ‘back’ {also. so we’re on the same page body back is one of the most ABSURD ideas anyway}. The house ready for visitors. You just need to be there to take care of the babe. You need to be able to figure out how that looks in your world. You don’t need the opinions of strangers on your rock-n-play sleeper or your boob vs formula. You just need to be real and love your babe. That’s all. What a relief, right? Right. Be real.
Mama. This is the ride of your life. Lucky for you, there have been many on the ride before you who are cheering you on and who know that feeling of 3/4 heart and 1/4 mush and we are rooting for you — not waiting for you to falter. We are here to look at your pictures. To offer help. And to be real right alongside you.
Because you are pretty special.
Love, Me
