Ohhhhh, friends. It’s time. I think after 8.5 years, I am ready to say sayonara to the diaper phase. We have been living in Diaper Town since 2009 and we have worn out our welcome.
I know. You’re thinking, “Ashli. Didn’t you already do this? Wasn’t there a blog post somewhere where you stated you were potty training the Littlest?”
Why yes. Yes there was.
And then I quit. Remember? The thing that NO parent is ever supposed to do, I did. I renig’d on the offer. I went back on my word. I did lifelong damage by telling my kids that you can just quit when the going gets rough. And we were potty school dropouts (click here for the original post).
But I am so glad I did.
Because the first time around, with the Oldest, I was a maven. I had all the poop in a group and in the potty. And that kid was potty trained in three days. No joke. Like really. Maybe two accidents since for that kid. Because of me, obviously.
Ummmmm. Hm.
And so with Number 2, I just went about my biz. I set out to potty train in three days. And instead, it took several months. Because GUESS WHAT? My first two have different personalities! I know. Say what?!
And then we headed down the road with number 3. Everyone promised that the third basically trains themselves. Saweeeeeet.
Until they don’t.
Until you are scraping kid poo out of Paw Patrol undies 6 times a day because apparently you feed your kids too many nutrient-dense, poop-producing foods. Until you’ve tried for weeks on end and the kid can’t seem to give two craps about anything — unless it’s into his pants.
Yes. I did the potty candy prizes. I did the apps. I did the chilling out when he had an accident. I did the books. Oh did I do the books. I did the pee in the bathtub situation. I did the big prize. The potty chart. I even tried the, “Oh. I guess you’re a baby” shaming (I know, really grown-up).
But we broke up with potty training. I was like, forget you. WE QUIT. We went back to diapers. Because honestly, after a couple of months of a battle, it was just time for me to say, “Okay. I might be ready. But this kid is clearly not.”
And TODAY. We are back on the potty train. We have relatively little going on outside of home the next few days but where we go, the potty will go to. I am back on the timer train. Back to basics. We are going to pick out a potty prize. And currently, the Littlest is sitting on his tiny tinkle catcher, with the iPad, and otherwise, it’s Pull-up Central today.
Here’s our plan:
- Setting timer for every 30 minutes.
- Endless flushable wipes on-hand.
- Allowing iPad all day so he’s totally zoned out and will listen to my every request.
- Allllll the potty books.
- Pull-up on in between until no accidents for 24 hours.
- Burn all the diapers in a massive bonfire at the end of the long weekend.
- Rejoice and take that extra $35 a month to tha bank, yo.
I have already invented two songs about getting on the potty and I plan to just Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood this life situation today. Because everything is better when it comes in songs, right? I have a big carafe of coffee locked and loaded! And I’m ready to be done with the Pamps, once and for all.
It’s time. Every party has a pooper. But that doesn’t mean it has to be in my kid’s pants.
Here’s hoping for successful sits. And a whole lotta 2.0 in the toilet. Wish me luck!
