I looked at Barrett the other day. I mean, I look at him all day, every day. But the other day, I really looked. I don’t know when it happened. But he grew up.
He did.
His face has lost that baby look. His shoe size is in the double digits. He wears the same size in clothes as his age. And he has a 3 and a half year old vocabulary. He grew up.
Obviously, he’s 3 and half, not 18. But lately, it’s been so apparent that he is older. Maybe it’s because he’s so easy. So filled with personality. And a personality that I so enjoy. He’s so aware of what he’s saying and of everything going on around him. So boy. And he has all his teeth.
And so I need time to stop. SLOW DOWN, time.
I’ve been saying since Barrett was 2 that I am just in love with this age. I’ve made no bones about the fact that infants and I are not MFEO. I’ve also been very open that I find toddlers trying. I’m in no way saying that I love one boy more than the other. But this age that we’re at with our 3 year old is delightful. And I can truly say I enjoy it in a way that I didn’t with the age of 18 months. And watching Barrett and Jonah together is something that makes my heart go boom, boom, boom. They are our boys. And right now, they not only love each other, but they like each other.
So, I’ve decided that Barrett is not going to get any older. And Jonah is going to still get older. But only to the age of 3 and a half. And I will stay 30. And Adam will stay 32. And, that, will be that. Because this is a tender moment in time. An interesting tender moment. But tender just the same.
We only get one single day at each age with our children. Tomorrow, both of our children will be older. And so will we. And so when I stop and see that Barrett is growing up, I have dramatic flashes of him in Kindergarten…then in high school…then in love…then heartbroken…and in love again…And then being Jonah’s best man…and then being a father. And doing all the things that will be Barrett. And it’s so much. It’s absolutely insane to know that we will continue to love each of them more. Because it feels like right now, we’re loving them with all we’ve got.
But they will grow. They both will. They will experience joy, hurt, pain, fear, love, utter happiness. And time will not slow down. In fact, most say, it will only speed up. So I guess I just need to start loving the toddler stage. And perhaps some day again, the infant stage. Because we only get to live each day with each child once.
So tomorrow, it may change, but today, I love today. The teething. The delight. I do love it. But tomorrow. Well, it’s always a day away.
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