Today I was the worst. I yelled more than I played. We did more timeouts than story time. I even cried at the dinner table as Jonah edged into minute ten of a non-stop scream-filled tantrum and Barrett told me the tacos were not delicious. Banner day at the Brehms.
Part of it is likely due to hormones, a piece of it is likely attributed to the fact that Adam has been out of town since yesterday and the biggest piece is based on the amount of time I have to spend playing referee between my two children. I need to invest in some black and white stripes and a whistle if this keeps up…it’s getting dicey around here. I have spent the day full of threatening and subsequently taking things away. Jonah had yet another “nap terror” {who says you can’t have two with night terrors?!}. Barrett chose today of all days to be mr. Sass. Team Brehm had a rough go of it.
There were redeeming moments {like the fact that we all made it through relatively unscathed} but all in all, I did not earn a medal of honor today for my mothering. I hate these days. There is little in life that upsets me more than feeling like I’ve failed my kids. And there’s little I feel guiltier about than having to constantly raise my voice {enough that Barrett asked if it hurts the baby when I yell}.
So now I will fix myself a Shirley Temple and watch some reality tv if only to remind myself how functional our family actually is in comparison. Because today was not our day. And I was not a great mom and they were not great kids. But the sun will come out tomorrow. And we will all be better versions of ourselves. And my kids will still love me tomorrow…hopefully.
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