A little over 5 years ago, I wrote a post based on a theme from the comic strip, Family Circus. And since I first wrote it, I think of things at least once a week {mmm k… maybe sometimes even once a day} that I could add to the list. The list of things that makes it apparent I’m a parent. So today, I’m bringing it back for a few additions. And I’m calling it…
It’s Apparent You’re a Parent: Of Littles edition
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you feel something hard in between the sheets, only to realize it’s a fox. A little plastic fox that likely originated in some sort of happy meal with the grandparents.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you find yourself completely irritated that anyone would test the tornado and fire whistles at 11 am. Don’t they know that’s nap time?
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you know that when it comes to feeling like the worst pain in the world can indeed be caused by a Lego, the struggle is real.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you see a car whizzz down you’re street and you think, “Good golly, miss molly. Don’t you know there are children at play?”
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you still consider sleeping until 7 am, sleeping in.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you’ve never done street drugs but you’re fairly certain that being high would feel a lot like watching Yo Gabba Gabba.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… if you’ve ever uttered the words, “I’d give my left ovary for a real solution to infant gas.”
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… if you’ve ever wished that you could just turn off the monitor to silence a co-worker in a business meeting.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… if your favorite restaurant is currently the one where Kids Eat Free and there is some sort of free offering before the meal in the form of bread or chips.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… if you are proficient in one-handed cooking.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you’ve wondered if Caillou’s mom is running some kind of scam by shaving his head.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when your most recent iTunes downloads include the Okee Dokee bros. And you genuinely consider that to be quality music.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you’ve recently purchased clothing because of the cute design on the bum {or you’ve been shopping at a Juicy Couture outlet…}
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you are the proud owner of flushable wipes.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you say the words, “Please take that out of your mouth” no less than 10 times a day on average.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you believe that the day you are not paying for diapers… and/or formula… and/or daycare, you will probably make the world’s wealthiest list.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you clap your hands and celebrate bowel movements… whether they be yours after child birth, for your newbie babe, or your potty-training toddler.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you have actually found yourself saying, we just can’t have nice things. And then wondering when exactly you turned into your mother/father.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when your current decor includes a jumping apparatus, exersaucer, bouncy seat and/or other concraptions. And they each get used about 15 minutes a day.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you have a 7 seat vehicle that only has butt-space for three adults. Because every other spot is relegated to car seat holding.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you have sniffed socks that weren’t yours in the last week to determine if they’ve been worn… or you’ve thrown underwear directly into the trash post being worn… and you don’t live in a fraternity house.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you vacuum three times a week, not because you are a neat freak but because you don’t want to find a coin in your baby’s diaper.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when your forearms are looking mighty toned these days thanks to the copious amounts of pre-treating spray you have to apply to dirty clothing items.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when only 4% of your pictures in your Facebook albums include you.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you still have to talk about meals in bites.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when the most famous artist you have on your walls is a five year old.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you tell time by naps and bedtimes, e.g. We’ll go do that after naptime or It’s ten minutes until bedtime.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you cannot put general freezer items in your freezer because it is full of breast milk.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you hear at least once a week, you certainly have your hands full.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when every person you meet who is 15 or older becomes a mental candidate for babysitting.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you can’t find your wallet in your purse but you can find a periwinkle crayon, a Mater truck, a tourist Little People figurine, a baby spoon, a stick to a sucker, and a smashed up bag of gold fish, should anyone need any of that.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you almost always have somewhere in your possession a diaper, wipes, and some form of a snack.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you wonder why your college classes taught you less Spanish than Go Diego Go! has.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you know that the blue bulb is akin to a torture weapon.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when your children can all bathe at one time. In the same place.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when someone else sitting up on their own, saying thank you without being reminded, or reading a new book on their own, made you the most excited you’ve been all month.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you add 22 minutes to the times of departure from your home for getting on 8 pairs of shoes, running around the car 6 times, loading everyone in, and then proper car seat administration.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you still believe that it will be easier when…
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you’ll wipe someone else’s snot directly from their face, with your bare hand.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… when you call things parties to get others to participate… including room cleaning parties and nail clipping parties.
It’s apparent you’re a parent of littles… if you’ve been reading and thinking yep… yep… yep!
