Sleep Is For Suckers

Up at 7:00

Nap from 9-11

Awake

Nap from 1-3

Awake and happy until bedtime

Do you know that baby? It’s the baby all the sleep books write for. 

But our baby… he is not that baby. No no. We love our baby. But he is definitely not that baby. In fact, none of my children have been that baby. Which, to me, is one of the great mysteries of the universe. In fact, I said to the Mr. just the other day, “How could someone who once shared my body be so averse to sleep?” It makes about as much sense to me as lingerie.

I am a huge fan of sleeping. And napping… oh, let me tell you, if I could take a nap daily, it would basically feel like I was living on a rainbow. And I don’t even care if that makes me 84 years old. Truly. If loving naps is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

But I don’t think loving naps is wrong in the world of babies. I mean, seriously. Babies, children, small animals such as ants {who, FWIW, take 250 naps a day. #triviamotherhoodhastaughtme}…they are supposed to love naps.

But not Harrison. Harrison’s nap philosophy is more like his dad’s… naps… whoneedsem’?

Harrison’s day can go like this:

7:00 am – wake
8:34 am – fall asleep for 3 minutes on the way home from drop-off
Awake and showing no signs of sleepiness
10:30 am – nap
11:15 am – wake
Awake and showing no signs of sleepiness
12:30 pm – nap
12:52 pm – wake. but mommy leaves me in crib.
1:15 pm – back to sleep.
1:45 pm – wake
Awake and under control.
4:00pm to bedtime – needy. clingy. but won’t nap.

OR like this:

7:15 am – wake
8:30 am – fall asleep in car. Mom makes successful transfer to crib.
9:30 am – wake!
Awake and showing no signs of sleepiness
12:30 pm – nap
1:00 pm – wake
Awake and under control.
3:00 pm to bedtime – needy. clingy. but won’t nap.

OR like this:

7:00 am – wake
Make it through drop-off of both bros without sacking out!
9:30 am – nap
11:00 am – wake
Awake and showing no signs of sleepiness
1:30 pm – nap
2:40 pm – mom wakes for pick-up trip
Awake and under control
4:30 pm to bedtime – needy. clingy. crabby. gremiliny. but won’t nap.

OR like this:

7:30 am – mom wakes.
Make it through drop-off of both bros without sacking out!
10:00 am – nap
11:30 am – wake
Awake and showing no signs of sleepiness
1:30 pm – nap
2:40 pm – mom wakes for pick-up trip
Awake and under control
5:00 pm to bedtime – needy. clingy. crabby. gremliny. but won’t nap.

OR like this:

7:15 am – wake
Make it through drop-off of both bros without sacking out! Head to gym.
10:00 am – mom picks up from gym daycare only to be told no sleeping happened.
10:15 am – nap at home
11:15 am – wake
Awake and showing no signs of sleepiness
1:00 pm – nap
1:45 pm – wake, crabby. won’t go back to sleep.
Crabby for days. Hanging on by a thread at bedtime.

And those, my friends, are only 5 examples of Harrison’s schizophrenic sleep style. There are many more scenarios where that came from, but for today, I will spare you. {And none of those even account for the wrath of waking the 3 year old.} This kid refuses to be by the book. I mean, what kind of fun would that be anyway {the predictable kind of fun. the kind I prefer}. But I suppose, that’s how I make ’em. As a friend once told me, exceptional babies are my forte. 

So right now… I am trying to decide… decide if I wanna take the leap to one nap. Because his morning nap has morphed into a solid hour. But the afternoon is a stretch to even get 30 minutes out of the kid. And then I either wake him for pick-up or he awakes, screaming bloody murder and is none too thrilled with the ground the rest of the day. So do I make the leap? The leap to stretching out the morning. The leap to a likely rough go of it for a week or two… or ten. Why is the idea of transitioning your kiddo from something to something so mind numbing? It’s always so much easier once you rip the band-aid off. But I never want to be the one who yanks it. Know what I mean {minds outta the gutter, folks.}?

I just keep telling myself that in no time at all, these three little boys will be sleeping the day away, grunting at me from dawn til dusk, and will have no interest in acknowledging that I’m alive. But in the current moment, they mostly believe that sleep is for suckers {right, Uncle Abe?}. So for now, I will just take this napping nonsense as a sign that Harrison simply wants to spend as much time as possible soaking up time with mama. Makes sense, right? And for that reason, I’m supposed to just be all good with it. And let it all roll off my back. But the problem is, I love rested babes. And I love sleep, myself. In fact, if sleep is for suckers… then I am the biggest sucker around.