We’re back! The hubs and I survived a week away from the rest of our tribe and the children seemed thrilled to have had some time with both sets of grandparents over the past 9 days {thanks again to the two best sets of grandparents in the history of life as I know it}.
I know I was a bit cryptic about our travels prior to leaving but I have a thing about people knowing that I am going to flying somewhere specific on an airplane. I know… just add it to my list of really endearing quirks that you are amassing if you’ve read this blog for any blip of time. But now, now I can dish all the deets… which I know… you’ve just been dying to hear. Hee hee.
So the hubs and I headed to Aruba! Why Aruba? You might ask. Well, friends… because it’s the first place in the song Kokomo. Where else would we start? But really, we chose Aruba after eliminating places we’d been, looking at flight times, and talking with some of the peeps who were interested in traveling with us. We {once again} used a kickass travel agent who helped us whittle our list down {including places like Turks and Caicos, St. Lucia, Costa Rica, and the Virgin Islands} by looking at prices, all-inclusive options, and also, places that would be safe and fun, and ended up choosing our destination: Aruba.
I will tell you more about the trip on Wednesday but for today, I have to tell you… we survived the first day back. The first day back after any bit of time away from our children always seems to be a bit of a fruit basket upset. And yesterday was no exception to that precedent. The middlest was absolutely obsessed with the word NO. And must have thought the only thing ears were designed for was to hold up sunglasses because his listening skills were non-existent. And none of the tactics from the parenting book I read on the vacay were working {crazy, right?}. The oldest shared how completely bored he was with our two hour trip to not-so-urgent care {you and me both, kid}. And yes… we had two patients … one with pink eye, and one with pink eyes and a sinus infection. Sooooo… the first day was about as smooth as the eastern coast of Aruba. But, soon enough, they will forget they hate us for leaving. At least I think…
Before we left, the hubs and I compiled a brief {ahem. 15 page} manual for the grandparents including all sorts of things. Because once you own your own humans, there’s a whole load of business that you are on the hook for. The top five things we had to make sure to leave/include were:
1. Consent to treat: People tell me this is necessary, so I roll with it whenever we are headed out of town {which has been about 5 times in 5 year but whatever…}. It basically just says that you give your authorization for the minors to be treated, should they require medical attention and included the hubs’ and my sigs.
2. Insurance card: Just in case
3. Contact list including: School contacts, doctor, urgent care, dentist, hospital, poison control, and carpool
4. HSA card: there’s a whole lotta “in case of emergency stuff” here because you just nevvvver know
5. Cash and Target card: Money for gas, groceries, Legos. Whatever.
I also contacted the best lawyer ever about our will and finances {thanks, dad} and made sure that the legal guardians are still up for taking our three fellas in the event that the plane would have gone down in the ocean {quirk number 456}. Thankfully, they were still in for the ride of their lives.
We also included the boys’ schedules for the week, meal lists, and general information. As I reread it upon our return, I had to laugh. At myself. At the amount of info that I compiled. And about the obvious nerves that I was feeling ahead of time. And am certain our parents think we are complete banana brains. Because I wrote it all basically just like I blog… a steady stream of thinking out loud. I included many notes that were just completely unnecessary but were clearly written to make me feel like I was preparing appropriately. So I thought I’d share some with you today. Hold onto your butts, my friends… and enjoy some of the excerpts and my after thoughts upon return {in italics} from what I saved on my computer as “Aruba Owner’s Manual” {because clearly I thought they were going to be owning Aruba?!}.
- On bedtime: School night bedtime should begin at 7:15. If doing baths and
shower, start “toys away” at 7:00. Make sure boys have backpacks, shoes, and
jackets in the right places (Otherwise you will hate your life in the mornings (smiley face emoji) - This apparently seemed necessary to me to let them know they’d hate their lives. Grandparents never hate their lives. They would think the search for said items was a fun scavenger hunt. I think it is pure torture, apparently. I am most certain they put me up for mother of the year after reading this.
- On clothing choices: Barrett will EVERY DAY want to wear shorts. I have told him that
unless it’s 70 or higher for the high (use your judgment if it’s in the 60s),
he should be wearing pants this week. I have no issue with him changing when he
gets home from school but I don’t want to be turned into CPS for wearing them
to school. - I don’t know why I’m so worried about CPS but apparently, I am. For shorts. In the spring.
- On the morning routine: In the mornings, after they wake from their clock, Jonah may stand on the stairs and tell you he isn’t going to school or
that he feels sick… Otherwise, he will come down and throw his clothes in the
air. - Lucky for my in-laws I didn’t keep a steady stream of play-by-play throughout the day. But really… this happens EVERY morning.
- On drop-offs: The boys will want to listen to Kids Place Live or Radio Disney and they
will let you know whichJ. They are on memory as X78 and X79. They might fight over it but the first one that asks, gets. And
usually Jonah will request to have it changed after Barrett and co. get outJ. - That moment when you realize you are completely spoiling your children. And that you spend your life listening to kids’ music.
-
On bedtime: Barrett usually wants a story though he will sometimes ask for
something from the phone as well (a kids book on youtube or a song) and that’s
fine with us as long as they didn’t take 84 hours to get to bed. They may want
you to lay. They may ask you to never leave. You know the drill. - Because really, I had to acknowledge that what happens with grandparents, stays with grandparents. And that 84 hour bedtimes probably seem like a gift of extra time to them. Whereas for me, on any given Tuesday, it’s enough to make me want to spoon out my eyeballs with a melon baller. And yes, I love my kids.
-
On Barrett’s music concert: You might want to bribe Jonah with the potential for Dairy Queen
or something following. - Bribes. I am clearly an incredible parent with well-thought-out and deliberate parenting tactics designed to create incredible humans. I should totally write a parenting book. It would be titled: Bribes and other things that they say you shouldn’t do.
- From the nuggets section: Jonah should not be left unattended with scissors. He will seriously
cut up anything he gets his hands
on. - Because, clearly, I wanted to avoid coming home to any of his artistic license projects, if at all possible. And I need to do a better job of keeping track of the scissors.
From the nuggets section: Harrison will pull on everything so don’t give him much trust when he’s
doing so (bookshelves, etc). Also, he will climb stairs (but does not know how
to go down), get into cabinets, pull trash out of cans, eat crayons, write with
pens, put anything he can find in his mouth, play in the toilet, and anything
else that you can think might be destructive.
- Have you ever heard those stories about children pulling TVs over on themselves? My husband has pretty much 6% of concern about this and I make up for the other 94%. Also, it is becoming apparent to me that perhaps Harrison should be checked for the disease that makes people eat dirt and styrofoam. And that I need to babyproof everything in the house.
-
On sleep: If Harrison cries out in
the night, it’s usually minimally. He hasn’t had any long crying spells since
getting tubes. If he does cry out once or twice, he does not need “tending to” (smiley face emoji) - The smiley face might as well have been a gun/bomb/syringe emoji pattern because what it was really saying was “please don’t hold the baby all night long or I will have to do so upon return and I really don’t want to because I am a sleep hound”.
And of course, a final message…
thanks enough for watching the boys. Love you all!! Please help yourself to
anything you find and make yourselves at home
{But really, thanks, grandparents. You’re the bombsdotcom.}
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