Oh, children. They say the darndest things, don’t they?
My mother-in-law tells this great story that one of the hub’s teachers once said, “I won’t believe half the things your kid tells me happen at home if you won’t believe half the things he or she says happen in my classroom”. I feel as though that should be crocheted on a pillow somewhere. Because oh, kids.
It was Red Ribbon Week at school this past week. For those of us from the Dare Generation, we might remember this week well. The time where, as 5 year olds, we vowed never ever ever to even get close enough to smell an alcoholic beverage or have a dorm room wall close enough to someone to get a contact high {true story. sort of. I was kind a prude. I kinda turned someone in for smoking pot in the neighboring dorm room. Okay. Not kinda. I did. I don’t think she was my biggest fan when she had to do community service in the cafeteria. But seriously. I wasn’t her biggest fan when I first discovered what last dance with Mary Jane meant, either.}
So anyway. Red Ribbon Week.
I’ve been on a really amazingly terrible antibiotic called Flagyl. Since I had c diff, it’s the big kahuna that they bring out to smack out the ridiculousness that is crapping yourself 24.7 and it’s called Flagyl. Can you think of a worse name for a drug that is supposed to help you not poop but also, incidentally, causes you to poop? I cannot.
Because of this wonder drug, I have been on the wagon and strictly forbidden to even grace the presence of alcohol. So, the other night, after being at some friend’s for dinner, the hubs and I swapped spots after pulling out of the driveway. We had a headlight out. The hubs had run the Halfsy that day. And then had a couple of drinks. It just wasn’t worth it for the one who had a couple bevvies to be driving our brood. So of course, there was an inquisition… “Why are you switching spots?” So we answered. Because that’s what we do. “Daddy had some drinks and it’s safer for the person who hasn’t been drinking to operate a vehicle. You know how kids aren’t supposed to have alcohol because their brains aren’t fully formed to handle it? Same with adults. If they are going to drive a vehicle, they need to be safe about it.” Easy peasy, right?
Cue Red Ribbon Week. When our friends shared with us that apparently Barrett let his class know that his mom had to drive because his dad had been drinking too much. Special.
And that would have been one thing, right? My daddy drinks too much to drive on occasion. My parents are responsible.
And then… the text the next day was priceless.
Because when another dear friend’s child comes home and tells this story, it’s just, well, priceless..
“Barrett told the class about how his mom used to smoke but she doesn’t anymore.”
Wow. Amazing. The kid whose mom has freakin’ cancer “used to smoke… but doesn’t anymore”. Um. I’m not knocking on smokers … okay, I am. Because I was never “a smoker”. And once you have cancer and have steered clear {mostly} of smoking, it can make you a little jaded about smoking. So why did he say this? Because about three weeks ago when I was filming a vlog, I admitted to smoking about 6 times in college, as in 6 cigarettes, and when he was flabbergasted by this fact, I then told him, “It’s true. Mommy smoked just six times and still got cancer. So never smoke.” Talk about your all time backfires, eh?
So, I just can’t wait until Tornado Safety week. Hopefully his teacher doesn’t send us to CPS. But I’m not counting my chickens before they hatch.
