Oh. My heart hurt the moment I read her words… As a childless mother.
But instead of being nasty to me… Instead of being hurtful… Or vengeful… Or spouting off words from her computer or phone to my page or my blog… She sent a kind, brief note.
A note that stated: as a childless mother, it seems the phrase, “as long as they’re alive at the end of the day, I say job well done” really shouldn’t be used.
Oh. My goodness. She is so right. So. Right. And while she didn’t rake me over the coals for it {note: I’ve gotten hate mail before. Stuff I’ve never responded to publicly because that would be spiteful and mean}, she helped me understand where her feelings were coming from. And as a fellow mama, I felt terrible.
And you know what? I thought of the way I might feel if the meme that I shared thinking it was a funny statement said something opposite. What if it had instead said, “as long as mama’s alive at the end of the day…” Maybe that would have stirred me. Would have cut to my Survivor core. Thinking of mama’s who haven’t gotten to survive. Out of no fault of her own.
Some people sling mud. They use social media to be mean and thoughtless. And others of us use it to connect. Knowing we all, of course, are different… Are made up of different experiences… And yet, all made to coexist here together and find a way to do so in harmony.
So I thank the mama. The mama who kindly messaged me. Who kindly said, “I thought you may want to know that maybe we should all agree that phrase just shouldn’t be used.”
I decided to share this post… Quick… To the point. A gentle reminder handed to me to spread kindness and goodness. To consider other’s feelings when we are called to do so. And to understand another’s place when they kindly ask you to do so. Not because the mama asked me to but because I believe mama’s should stick together. I believe that this mama was not being “overly-sensitive” as some say people are to social media but rather that she really wanted me to say, “maybe we shouldn’t say that because…” Ad I get that. Try to understand one another. And above all, be kind.
To you, a forever grieving mama, I hope it’s okay I shared your words but I was so touched by your gentle response to something that someone else might have gotten ugly over. Or misplaced hurt. Or anger. But you were lovely. And reminded me that not all mama’s get to go before their children. And that many humans are better than most people give them credit for.
Xo-
Mama B
