Prior to having Barrett, I had great expectations surrounding one morsel of motherhood … it was my hope upon hopes that baby Brehm would take to the boob and that mother nature would make the milk magic happen affording me the opportunity to give our miniature little monkey the best of the breast. As I’ve noted previously, before meeting Adam, it was my belief that having children was akin to growing an alien inside of your stomach. My feelings on breastfeeding were not much further from this line of thinking in that while I was aware that breast was always best, I couldn’t get over the whole cow-like concept and believed that although I would probably someday offer up the boob to babe, I would do so begrudgingly, likely kicking and screaming.
In a very freaky realization about 4 days before my induction, I discovered that the milk was already in the works. Let me just tell you, the first time you realize that your boobs have now become milk sprinklers, it’s alarming and creepy… in fact, upon discovery, I called Adam and shared the development with him and he said “they’re officially not mine anymore”. Well folks, they really aren’t mine anymore either. I was very fortunate that not only did my milk come in with flood like proportions but also that Barrett took to the boob as if it were old hat. Because of Barrett’s size, we found ourselves milking every minute with a schedule of feeding every two and a half hours and the feedings including at least a half hour with him feeding, 15-20 minutes of supplementing milk to him through a syringe and then 15 minutes of “hard pumping”. There is nothing more bizarre and animalistic then pumping your milk … and also strange to see the milk fill the bottles with such ease, knowing that just mere months ago my breasts were Adam’s funbags and now, they are Barrett’s one stop shop from dawn to dusk. I was pumping so much milk that the lactation consultant came in and questioned “Are you actually feeding Barrett?”. We were monopolizing the nursery fridge with the magic stuff and they worried that perhaps I had forgone feeding and instead just banked the boob brew. I know I’m a first-time mom but I’m not completely stupid.
I had heard whisperings from many a mama about engorgement and feeling as though rocks had surely taken form where boobs had once been but I had no idea of the immense pain that this phenomenon brings. I awoke the morning after we arrived home from the hospital, my shirt absolutely soaked and my boobs, rock hard. I pumped and fed, pumped and fed … and for three days feared that I would never find relief from this milk madness. Once I got a better handle on the milky way, my ta tas took to more of a normal size, shape and consistency and for three days, Adam got to feel like he was sleeping with another woman… all in all, a win.
One key component that I didn’t understand about feeding is the way the time clock works… who knew that the next feeding begins 2.5 hours from the beginning of the last feeding, not from the end?! This schedule can really mire a momma down. And, until Barrett beefs up a bit, the feeding frenzy will continue. Oh, and since Barrett fills his shorts in the middle of every feeding (with a grin on his face… already so much like his dad), I am starting to think that the project of putting on pounds will be a slow and steady race. All in all though, I feel better knowing that I am giving our little preemie the prime potion and won’t be giving up on all mammary matters anytime soon.
Adam and I had visits from both sets of gparents this weekend and were able to leave Barrett with gma and gpa and grab a bite to celebrate my bday. It’s a beautiful thing living close enough to both of our parents and having built-in babysitters at our beck and call (okay, maybe not beck and call, but who wouldn’t want to hang out with Barrett?). We headed out to Johnny’s Italian Steakhouse and enjoyed delish din din along with some yummy wine. Not to say I’m some sort of alcoholic but I have to admit, I missed drinking while I was pg and am enjoying feeling a little more freedom when it comes to swilling spirits. I have yet to have anything other than wine but I am currently the cheapest date Adam has ever had. Much like Colby Cailet’s “Bubbly”… it starts at my toes and I crinkle my nose… and so on. I find myself whoozie after just a few swigs and it’s probably best for Barrett if I keep imbibing on a small scale… unless I have time to pump it n dump it.
I feel like I am starting to get the hang of the whole bfeeding gig but will certainly keep you abreast of any changes… and any new developments.