I can recall that when I was a little tyke, my father would make his way down to the church basement each Sunday between service and kid’s music to entertain us all as my mom got the music ready. He would always kindly share his choice words of wisdom and precious gems that he had collected throughout the years in order to assist us in becoming better, wiser individuals. Of the many morsels he shared over the years, perhaps the most fondly remembered is as follows: “You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose.” Little did I know at the time that while you may not pick your friend’s nose, someday, I would indeed pick my child’s nose, examine the color of his diapers and sing and dance to see his smiles (I suppose I would sing and dance regardless).
My sister, Danielle and I were recently having a conversation regarding the many things we thought we would never do that seem to have become the norm post-partum. Included in this list were
- picking our little one’s nose
- wiping snot, spit, poo and whatever else comes about onto our shirt, hand, etc.
- go longer than normal without showering
- let our babes nap in the swing, on the boppy, or wherever they seem content
- inspecting diapers to determine the color du jour
The list could likely go on and on and I am sure that each day I do something that I wouldn’t have done before. But in all honesty, I’m okay with it all (or at least those things I’ve encountered thus far). Don’t get me wrong, at first I definitely despised smelling of breastmilk 24/7 and wasn’t completely taken with the trail of spit up that seemed to make its way onto most ensembles but over time, I’ve adjusted to my newfound scent of Eau de Boob and if you haven’t heard yet, I hear that snot is very fashion forward and am fairly certain that spitup is the new black.
I always wait until right around feeding time to take on the tasks that Barrett seems to have labeled as torture. These things include tummy time, wiping yellow gooey gunk from the corners of his eyes and extracting ickies from inside his nose. Barrett’s nostrils seem prominent enough when I peer into them but it is in picking that I find problems. He absolutely abhors the big blue bulb and I am fairly certains he believes me to be sucking out his brain rather than his boogers… so, I suck once and then go on a dig (I know, staying at home is fascinating)… generally, the big boog is stuck right in the center of his shnozz and neither the bulb nor my finger can work it out. Of course, this process results in an angry little Barrett which is why I time it as such… when the paci is no help, I always have the boob as backup. I am sure many moms believe that you shouldn’t use the boob as a reward but really, we reward grown men with the same (in a completely different context, of course), so why not do the same with children?
I knew prior to becoming a parent that while the aforementioned job functions may require more focus there were parenting duties I wouldn’t mind taking on. At the top of this list is sending the poopies packing. Let me tell you, after moonlighting as a nurse’s aid for several years, I have no fear of people poo. I think every parent-to-be should take a little fieldtrip down to the local nursing home and put in some training on changing depends and administering peri-care. Once you’ve wandered into the world of adult diapering, you’re much less likely to sweat the small stuff. Another thing we have yet to find much concern over is a pacifier that falls on the floor. We do our best to clean the sucker (no pun intended) off but there may still be germs befriending the binky. Maybe we should work on our concern for this with the introduction of H1N1 but I’m fairly certain that Mama Eickman wasn’t a germ-phobe and for the most part, I turned out alright. Although, I suppose some people make the same argument for smoking while pg and feeding their babies raw meat so perhaps we ought to devise a better defense for our friendliness to germs…
Ahh, the joys of motherhood become more and more prevalent with each passing day and I continue to try to figure out what the heck I am doing. Every mom has an opinion, a tried and true method, a can’t-possibly-live-without solution and I welcome all sage advice with open arms… after all, little B is the first human I’ve ever been put in charge of so I am certainly not an expert on parenting but it is my hope that, over time, I can become somewhat of an expert on him. Even with all of the trial and error that comes with being a first time parent, I must admit, it’s all pretty entertaining … in fact, in the words of my dear dad “I haven’t had this much fun since the hogs ate my brother, and I got his shoes”.
