At Barrett’s 2 month check-up, I inquired as to what the napping habits should be of a child his age. The nurse responded “Well. They are usually awake for 1-2 hours at a time during the day … but often times the two hour stretches are achieved with lots of stimulation for the child.” “Well then I must be extra-stimulating because Barrett is awake for 5 hours at a time. Everywhere I go, I see moms who have their infant curled up on their shoulder, completely sacked out. Children in the grocery store who’ve decided to sleep through the shopping. Tiny tots in the middle of a room full of gabbing adults, laid out on the floor for some nap action. How do I get that? ” I replied. “Be patient,” she said. And so, I’ve spent the 8 months following that appointment being patient… or at least acting as if I’m being patient. This fake patience is getting me nowhere.
I guess I partially understand it. Barrett just really likes me and wants to maximize his mommy time … and I can hardly fault him for this… I’m fairly cool. However, I honestly believed that once Barrett’s belly quit bubbling, he would love sleep more than he could ever love his Susie {actually named Sophie} and cherish his daytime ZZZ’s. Let’s be real here, if I could nap two times a day, I would relish in the extra REM. But alas, Barrett becoming a truly proficient napper seems about as likely as Kirstie Alley dropping some major lbs. At months 3 and 4, Barrett was a swinger. He would nap only in his swing (and yes, I let him. Slap me on the wrist). At month 5, he would only nap in someone’s arms and since I have been his primary caregiver since day one, I got to be that special someone the majority of the time. At month 6, Barrett would finally nap in his crib. You would think that a mom who was so adamant about the babe spending the nights in his crib would have also felt strongly about the days but I suppose it sort of got away from me. And before I knew it, he was running the show. Now, I know … I know you’re thinking you did this. stop your bitching. To be fair, I take full responsibility for these nap “transgressions”. I was that mom who complained incessantly about the napping issues but wasn’t willing to nip the non-conforming nap in the bud. So finally, I had an Oprah moment {I think the aha phrase is off limits these days} and decided to get into the zone.
After listening to many other mumsies, I determined that if I simply followed a schedule, B would suddenly snooze for the magical 2 hour timeframe … and of course, once in the morning, and once in the afternoon. Laundry would be pristinely folded, the bathrooms would look brand spankin’ new, and I, of course, would look like a Real Housewife of the OC {preferably Gretchen}. Ahhh, blissful naptimes would be dandy. So, from 6 months on, I’ve been somewhat of a dozing dictator. For the past 3 months, with the diligence and tenacity of Kelly Cutrone, I’ve been committed to Barrett’s naps and have put him down at the same time, with the same routine twice a day. And, for the past three months, Barrett’s continued to be a nap enigma. He sleeps for a half hour to an hour twice a day with no real indication of what causes the long and short of it. Sometimes he wakes up happy … sometimes crying. I’ve tried making him cry himself to sleep. I’ve tried rocking and not making a peep. I’ve tried to fit him in a swaddle. I’ve tried to sing, while I coddle. I cannot make him love dreamland. Even though, a SAHM I am.
Some people say that babies who don’t nap well are actually at genius level. To these people I say, genius babies don’t try to eat their mother’s toes or carry a spoon around as their favorite toy. And, as I just completed a 40 minute screaming standoff with Baby B, I can honestly say {at least in this moment} that if it is either a boy genius or a well-napped babe, I’d prefer the latter.
I can only hope that by the first year mark I have better news to note on Barrett’s naps. The rest of him is just so fantastic … is it asking for too much to have this piece fall into place? I’d love to bid adieu to the crappy nappy but I suppose it’s better than a never napper.
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