ONE-derful…

“We don’t even know what we did with our time before we had him.”

“Yesterday he fell asleep on me and it was the sweetest moment.”

“I don’t even know what to do with all the time at home. Infants sleep all day long.”

“Being a stay at home mom is the most rewarding job.”

“I just love that new baby smell.”

These are common phrases I’ve heard spilling from the mouths of new moms. After Barrett was born, he soon started screaming his little head off day in and day out and the aforementioned phrases are words I only dreamed of uttering. In Barrett’s infant phase, I could easily recall what I had done with my time prior to having him and it didn’t include pacing the carpet, alone, for hours at a time, attempting to quell a pre-prime babe’s belly aches. Never, did Barrett, ever fall asleep on us past the first two weeks unless we were in a dark room and much jostling and juggling had taken place. As we tackled his tummy monsters, we also lost any chance of him sleeping during the day as those were the hours during which he seemed to feel the most distress. Being home felt neither blissful nor rewarding and the only new baby smell that filled my nostrils was regurgitated breastmilk. Do I sound jaded? Let me once again {for the gajillionth time on my blog} state that I am completely aware that we were fortunate to bring home a healthy baby… however … let me also state that in talking to other moms, our first time parenting stories are vastly different.

I loved Barrett the minute I met him however I felt an immense amount of guilt that I had somehow shorted him. Weighing in at just 4 lbs 9 ounces at birth, I couldn’t help but feel as though I had sucked at being the incubator that B so needed and I couldn’t shake the idea that perhaps, there was something else I could have done while he was in utero that would have made him a mightier little man. As I’ve noted previously, it was realized that my placenta quit growing during the last leg of my pregnancy and I felt like I was to blame for this scientific mishap. Then, after bringing home Barrett at 4.5 pounds and hearing his sad screams just two weeks later in addition to welcoming a steady surge of spitup, I once again found myself thinking I had set this kid up for failure. For the first four months of Barrett’s life, I continuously felt as if I couldn’t do anything to make him comfortable and that made my heart ache. Would he ever put weight on … would we ever be done scheduling out syringes of Prevacid … would his tumultuous tum tum ever take a breather… would I ever snack on milky sustenance again? And just when I was nearly at my wits end, the clouds parted. At the end of the fourth month, I cried tears of happiness as I saw Barrett’s first smile. Each month that followed felt more like the motherhood everyone had talked about and less like an After-School Special designed to keep teenage girls from uncrossing their legs.

Although we dealt with reflux meds and diet restrictions for several months, when we reached month 9, I made a determination … next time, my baby will be 9 months late. Forget this one month early stuff, 9 month olds are where it’s at. It was at about that point that Barrett started to show his personality, began sleeping more, and that I felt like he really liked us.

Now, at 13 months, I can honestly state that I don’t know what we would be doing with our time if we didn’t have Barrett. I can share that we have the most tender moments at naptime when I rock him and he snuggles into me for his snooze. I can understand the beauty of a baby who naps … as we are down to one, solid hour and a half nap a day that we can pretty much set our watches by and depend on daily. I can vouch for the fact that having the opportunity to stay home, while very demanding as well as challenging for an extrovert such as myself, is a rare gem that I didn’t ever expect to enjoy as much as I currently do. And, I can now agree that babies {although B is not really a babe anymore} have the sweetest smell. All of those phrases I longed to feel have come to fruition for our family and much like Heinz 57, it was totally worth the wait.

Barrett weighed in at 17 lbs 15 oz at his one year appointment and though he is small, his personality just spills out and over his pocket-sized physique. Barrett Brehm is filled to the brim with babbles, giggles and smiles. He warms the hearts of friends and strangers alike with his glittery eyes and lush lashes. He expresses his opinions and shows, in all things, that he is already very much his own person. He’s been mentally tough through his tummy troubles, weight struggles, and surgical procedures. He sleeps well, eats well and as noted, even {often} naps well {please don’t jinx me}. To us, Barrett’s the bee’s knees. Don’t get me wrong, he has his fussy moments and those in which we could definitely use a break from each other but overall, if I could place an order for a 13 month old, Barrett would be just what I’d request.

I have no idea what our next babe {in the future people. no, I am not pg} will be like but it definitely makes it easier going into a second one knowing that even if the beginning is somewhat of a bomb, the moments that await us are magical. How one-derful.