Confessions of a New{ish} Mom…

Whether it’s your first baby or you are Michelle Duggar, I’m guessing there’s always a bit of it of adjustment when a new little bundle of sweetness and spit-up rocks your world. Here’s my list of current post-partum business and confessions of a mother of a tod and a tiny tot…

1. My newest addition to decor — nursing pads. I have them everywhere. In every room of the house. And not like still in the package. I have these little duct discs scattered in the bedroom surrounding my pumping place, in the living room, bathroom… if it’s a room, in my house, a pad can be found. One could quite easily track where I last nursed by following the nursing pad path.

2. Barrett watches far more TV than I’d like to admit. Just a month ago, I prided myself on only having the tube on for a max of one hour per day. That actually makes me laugh out loud {or LOL for all you savvy texters} now. Television has literally become the boob tube at our house. Anytime I need to do anything utilizing my boobs {feeding or pumping. It stops there you sick people}, Barrett can usually fanangle watching something on the tube and let’s be honest, it’s just the easy, lazy thing to do for now. I know I’ll kick myself later but for now, it works … and I’m letting it. Now, if only I could teach him to run the remotes on his own… {kidding… kidding}

3. Sadly, due to #3, and also due to it being summer, our DVR is completely cluttered with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Sesame Street and Super Why! episodes and lacking any sort of adult content. Sure, I have an occasional new RHONJ {which I am not as obsessed with as the others} or RHONY but a couple shows does not an adult DVR make.

4. I have been alternating between about 8 pieces of clothing since Jonah joined us. Mostly dresses, a few maternity tops and of course, the same sad pair of post-pregnancy blue jeans I sported following Barrett’s birth. The jeans, an old Express style, are size 12 and still do very little to hide the bread dough belly beneath them. After B, I bought a “solution” for each size on the way back down to my pre-B size and I assume that my post-Jonah weight loss journey will take me down the same pants path.

5. I recently waited an hour in the nail salon and then walked out after getting skipped for a Pedicure. While walking to my car, my eyes welled up with tears. By the time I got Adam on the phone, I was a snotty sniveling mess. To waste an entire hour right now and feel like I have nothing to show for it {I hadn’t been smart enough to bring a book or mag} is enough to make this mama go mad. Each hour is currently counted on the nursing clock and so, I was in hysterics. After a few deep, long breaths {and a shot of Tequila … again, just kidding … and no, I don’t think saying I miss tequila makes me a lush}, my Zen state was restored but every once and awhile, sleep deprivation and lingering hormonal changes create the perfect storm of emotions.

6. In addition to the nursing pads that now grace our place, our kid “gear” and overwhelming collection of toys are about to drive me nutty bananas. The, once adult, living room now contains a nook filled with clear toy totes and a basket of books, the corner houses a plastic shopping cart {containing, at the moment, two bats, one popper, and a partridge in a pear tree}, a wooden “garage”, a wheeled basket o cars and trucks … and then there’s the addition of the cradle n swing, the baby papasan and the playmat. Oh, yes… and of course, Jonah’s gift to Barrett, a train table, now takes the place of our once kitchen table — then turned “cozy” couch and coffee corner of the kitchen. There’s a tunnel in the dining room. A car seat and accessories in the front room. So. The news is out. We have kids. And I {secretly} cry a little inside every time I step foot into my friends’ places… so adult. So uncluttered. So not decorated in bright colors with animals and cars.

7. I’m starting to feel a little alarmed by Barrett’s familiarity with nipples. He’s begun showing his nipples and announcing them as such and he also continues to have a keen interest in the pumping process. He calls the pump “pumper” and I think believes it’s some sort of music machine because he jumps up and down to its rhythm.

8. On Sunday, Barrett decided he wanted to take a tinkle on the frog potty in the powder room. He also did not want to wear his diaper. What he did want to do, however, was pee on our kitchen floor. Oh yes. And poop. You know a part of your life has really hit a new “norm” when your child poops on the floor and continues playing trains.

9. I don’t know if it’s hormones or what but there’s something that is making my armpits smell like a mix between pine trees and stickiness {like that icky smell of children who are just, well, sticky}. I’ve tried ditching my deodorant {for a different scent … not altogether} and different shower gel but I can’t seem to battle the BO. For anyone who has questioned if I am still showering, the answer is yes… almost daily.

10. Yesterday, I was so proud of myself and felt so together when I got Jonah fed, pumped my pair, changed both boys, snagged snacks and sippies and loaded them in the car to cart them down to the Children’s Museum {which, as my friend so kindly tells me means you have to drive a hell’s half acre … and while I am not exactly certain where that falls in the metric system, I will admit, it is a jaunt}. Turns out, Children’s Museum … closed on Mondays. Magnificent.

That’s just a bit of the brand of crazy we’re carrying over here these days. When life makes you bananas, make some banana bread!