Being a mom is a balancing act. Like working as a circus performer {and spandex really does me no faves}, juggling many different balls in the air, attempting to not drop a single one…because each and every ball needs to be kept in play.
Some days, I feel like I am a juggling rock star. I feel like my husband is loved to the extent he deserves. I feel like my children receive an appropriate balance of discipline and fun. I feel like my house is sparkling {ahem.}. I feel like I’ve rocked out dinner like it’s my job. I feel like I am keeping in touch with the people I care most about. I feel like my smart phone is up out of the way more than it is in my hand. I feel like my priorities and my life are in order…like I’ve got the hang of it and like the movie Mannequin, nothing’s going to stop us now.
Other times. Well. Notsomuch.
Other times, the reality is that the baby is fussing. The toddler is grunting. The husband and I are high fiving as we pass each other around the house. The house is an atrocity. The dinner is either pulled out of the freezer or taken out of a paper bag. The people who I love the most haven’t looked into the whites of my eyes for four score and seven and I wear a tired face and greasy hair. And although these times are much less prevalent than the former… I feel as though these days have the power to dampen my spirit more than the good can lift them. I am more likely to dwell on my inadequacies than my triumphs. And it ultimately makes me believe that circus performing just isn’t my bag.
When one ball drops, I am unbalanced. I am out of sorts. I am a mess of hot gravy.
Lately I’ve determined that my biggest blunder comes when I over plan. When I have the need to over control. To over think everything. And then, when things don’t go exactly as I envisioned, the balls begin to drop. And I begin to fall apart… one thing at a time.
So each day, I remind myself that there is beauty in spontaneity {the kind I had in LBK}. There is success in just living in the moment. There are gifts that can be found imperfections of each day…shining gems that we must mine and hold close to our hearts. Because really, constantly being on stage is overrated anyway…I mean how many parents really hope and dream that their children join the circus?
So for tomorrow… let go of the battle to find the perfect balance… because I think that may just be a fools’ errand. Instead, find time to fit in the things that really need to be given focus and let the rest away. And instead of being everything to everyone, be what matters to you. And the rest will work itself out.
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