Oh, Jonah.
This phrase gets uttered a lot around the Brehm house these days. Because when it comes to Jonah, we are often at a loss. I suppose he’s exactly what a toddler should be. When our mr. peanutbuttermuffinpants is in good spirits, he’s delicious and darling. Truly, he is. But when mr. mcfusserton is having an off day…well…w a t c h o u t. Seriously. He is one moody little man and I’ve not a clue where this manic madness comes from {ahem.}.
At Jonah’s 15 month appointment, when asked if we had any concerns, “Perhaps we have just completely forgotten what Barrett acted like at 15 months but this kid is realllllly moody”. And while for now, we are all attributing the issues to torrential teething, if it doesn’t get better soon, mama may have to start day drinking {I know, these are not things to joke about. And this is precisely why I am not joking. Okay…I am joking}.
For the most part, Jonah’s rants are random. One minute he’s jolly and jovial and the next, he’s buried his tear-soaked face in the carpet. But there are some gimmes…some things that, 93.2% of the time, are guaranteed to send Jonah through the roof.
One of these things: diaper changes.
I definitely recall Barrett going through a phase where diaper changes were challenging but I don’t remember ever feeling like I needed a WWF alter ego to take on DiaperDude. The man will not get this kid down, and neither, apparently, will his momma. Today, I literally placed one foot on each of his arms in an effort to get his brown-caked bum clean…during which time, he managed to wriggle free, grab the diaper and wave it over his head…only to have poo flung over our palace. Still screaming and thrashing, he stood up and I cried uncle. He walked around diaperless for nearly 7 minutes. Did I know that there was potential for him to pee all over our pad? Sure. But I had to break to hydrate before I could get back in the ring. Seriously, I can’t make this sh*t { I know, I can be punny} up.
BUT.
We do have one thing that seems to make Jonah blissful. If he remembers to chill long enough to get a grab, this boy is pleased as punch when he has a hold of his penis. Yep. I said it. Penis. Sorry if you’re reading this at work and I just tipped off the system. But that’s what we call it…not bits, bird, hot dog, etc…when talking with our boys, we call it what it is. Penis. And Jonah, well…he loves his. He does.
It started about 6 months ago. He would get a handful of his business and would be all smiles. And giggles. Almost gleeful. And for a kid who is rather stoic the rest of the time, it is quite noticeable when he is beaming while grabbing his gonads, how much contentment it brings him.
So what’s a mother {and father} to do? Welp. For now, I have to admit, I encourage the behavior. Hey. It’s either wrestling match and flinging poo or cheerful change. I will actually say to him while he’s mid-madness, “Hey Jonah, where’s your penis?” and if we are successful in distraction, he will once again, giggle, smile and be a pleasant little peanut. Obviously this 15 month old has no idea what he’s holding but it’s hysterical to those of us who do.
I don’t know what’s normal when it comes to boy behavior. After all, I’ve never been a boy. And I definitely don’t know, as a mother, how to respond when our oldest tells me, “My penis is so big now” or when our youngest grabs his goods and is all grins. But for now, I have to just call it a win for diaper changes and hope that everything turns out okay despite the fact that we let him dabble with his dingy. There are worse things….I’m sure.
**Oh, and if you want to read a hilariously fantastic post on the subject of what to call your kids’ private parts, check out my friend Melissa’s post on Momaha.com. And if you want even more laughs, read the comments.
You might also like
