Barrett has decided, at least for the moment, that when he grows up, he will be a cement truck driver. This declaration came on the heels of his decision to be a train engineer. And prior to that, it was a soccer player. Along with what he will be, he often shares how he thinks things will go as he grows and when he is big like daddy.
First, he decided that when he got big, he would ride the ferris wheel at Scheels. Check.
And drink soda. I’m sure this has probably occurred.
And beer. Someday.
I love it.
And I love him. Because he has his whole life ahead of him and he knows it. He knows that so much is out there waiting for him to experience. And the prospects are enough to light up his world.
While parenting, by design, is such that our children may learn and grow from our influence, it is just incredible how much we can learn from our children. And in watching him, I am learning that I often forget that I still have the rest of my life in front of me. I think we all forget this. And as we do, we become complacent and on occasion, even reticent. We start to keep our own dreams tucked away inside because we believe that the window for them has passed or that the door has closed. Or that other people deserve the biggest portion of what we have to offer.
In a recent conversation with my father, he was sharing with me how proud he is of Adam and me for our two little guys. It’s something he shares often with us, and with my siblings …. You guys are doing such a good job. My response to him during this particular exchange was “Well, I question every day if I am doing the right things” to which he stated {paraphrased:)}, “Ashli, I’m almost 60 and I still ask that but I have someone I love to do this whole thing with and that makes it pretty wonderful”… fair enough.
I love our kids. I do. But it is important as parents that we find ways to keep our own identity in tact. And that as a spouse, we keep focus on that relationship as well. Though our identities change, evolve and morph as we have little pieces of us walking around on this earth, I am realizing more than ever before that if you lose track of yourself, you aren’t really much good to anyone.
So for today, I am blogging. Because this is something that is for me. And I challenge you to do the same. Do something that is fulfilling. Something that you love. Something that you need. Because our children will be stronger, better people, when we are the very best versions of ourselves.
Because we are still growing, right alongside our children. We don’t have all the answers, and it’s sort of beautiful knowing that we never will and that no one ever expects that of us.
And for now, this much I know to be true, that when I grow up, I want to have lovely, confident children. Who, perhaps, drink beer, and soda, while riding on ferris wheels.
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