Four years ago tonight, at 36 weeks pregnant, they were preparing to break my water. To bring our sweet little “snowball” into the world in the safest way possible for both mama and babe. I had checked into the hospital almost 24 hours prior to be induced after our ultrasounds began to show signs of IUGR (intrauterine growth restriction) and progress, to that point, had been minimal. So the water would have to be broken. And man, did it break. I remember thinking the pain was as close to death as I’d ever be and that I would never be doing this again.
And then, the very next morning, on the same day my sister had been born decades before, we met Barrett. And just. like. that. Everything changed.
It was terrifying. Exhilarating. Painful. Exhausting. Joyful. It was a miracle. He was our miracle. And he still is today.
Tomorrow, we will have a four year old. And while most people will say they don’t know where the time has gone, I feel fully in touch with the minutes, hours, days and months it has taken to make up his four crazy/beautiful years. As I often say, I have many short stories from our long days of parenthood. Some good. Some lovely. Some bad. Some hilarious. Some hard. Some absolutely priceless. But all of them, each and every one of them, have made Barrett. And so, for that reason and that reason alone, I wouldn’t change a thing. And if I’m being honest {and I always am}, that first year was pretty touch and go…so to get here is a pretty wonderful feeling.
Having a four year old does not make me feel old. It makes me feel more complete. Somehow more like a mom. Like I’ve got street cred now or something. And it makes me feel good about the world. Because Barrett, well, we just adore him. Every little morsel.
He can be tender, polite and is intrinsically motivated. He is sometimes irrational, strong-willed and bossy. He has a certain something that shines from the inside out that I only wish I could bottle and his happiness is truly infectious. He {for the most part} appears very fond of his brother. He has an enviable curiosity, a sneaky intelligence and can hold a conversation like nobody’s business. He is a compassionate creature and what every parent hopes for, one of a kind. And I hope that he carries that uniqueness with him through each year. And I hope upon hopes that he never lets the world dull his spirit. Because it is a force.
So, four, hello. And a happy birthday to our first born {And to my favorite sister}. We will love him more tomorrow than we do today and though it happens with each day, it seems unfathomable.
To our Super B… Eat you up, we love you so.
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