Into the Big Boy Bed…

Transitions. I’ve blogged transition before. I’ve talked about how the changes that we have to make as our children grow, sometimes feel like insurmountable hurdles for parents. The decision to move an infant who sleeps beautifully in a swing into the crib. The choice to wean a breastfed baby to formula. When to transition from three naps to two or two to one. The timing on potty training. The transitions are endless and include all those and a bag of chips {to munch on, while you think on when to make these transitions}. And the loveliest part is that as I’ve said before, whether change is introduced to your children or they choose it, eventually, it happens.  

I am the first to admit that we are fairly regimented around the Brehm house. We are scheduled. We do structure. We are pretty darn consistent. And it isn’t because that is the right way to parent or the only way to raise children, it is because that is what, so far, works for us. Would, perhaps, other ways work for us? You betcha. But this is the way we control our own little corner of the world. The way we stay sane.

So when dealing with transitions, we rarely throw caution to the wind. We follow, to the best of our ability, a three-month transition plan. Think I’m kidding? I’m not. Think I’m nuts? Perhaps. To my recollection, I can’t think of a time that I claimed I wasn’t. 

If you’ll recall {and I’m sure you will because I remind you every chance I get}, Barrett was a very angry baby. He did not seem to enjoy being awake. And like all babes, he was difficult to get to sleep. So we sought routine. We sought out feeding schedules, nap scheduling and bedtime routine. Not because we were itching to be bound by nap and bed times {Believe you, me, we were never going to be those people}. But rather because he was a very angry baby. And routine provided comfort. To both us and him. 

When we were expecting J bird, we knew that Barrett had a lot of change a comin’. He still had a pacifier. He was still in his crib. He was not potty trained. Oh yeah, and he had a little brother or sister that would soon rock his entire world as he knew it. So, at one of his regular visits to dear Dr. D, we asked if she had any advice. To this, she answered, “I usually suggest that if at all possible, parents take life-altering transitions about 3 months apart. Again, if at all possible. So first you’d wean him from the nap and night pacifier and then a couple to three months later, you’d transition to a new room. Weaning him from the pacifier first would ensure that he wouldn’t need to get out of the bed to retrieve it and moving him three months before the baby arrives will separate the changes so he won’t hate the baby for stealing his space”.

Sound crazy? It does sound a little bananas, I’ll admit. I’ve alway trusted the Doc but it conjured up words like coddling, babying and pampering. And it made me think, “children in other countries sleep on dirt floors, never know where the next meal is coming from and still survive”. But this part of it really resonated with me… life-altering transitions. To you or me, moving rooms may not seem like that big of a deal. It may not completely undo our universe. But at the time, I knew how a two year old’s world would shake if instead of getting goldfish for snack like you promised, you delivered wheat thins. And that, to me, was not life altering…that was a moment. And he would have those moments all day. So I considered how that must seem to a wee one who had a pretty controlled world to have that world completely changed. To have all those things that he knew as his…to have them taken away and changed all at once. Binkies, beds and babies…oh my! 

So we took the good doctor’s advice and followed it to the letter. And you know what? It worked. Would it have worked if we’d moved Barrett after Jonah’s arrival…likely. Would it have been without incident had we potty trained prior to the big boy bed and baby…perhaps. But was it easy peasy with three months between and can I say that now because with that part of B’s existence, we are out of the woods? Absolutely. 

So, fast forward two-ish plus years and here we are, following the same schedule with Jonah. It’s been in motion since a few months ago when Jonah was ready to say sayonara to his pacifier. And this week, we transitioned to a crib. And so far, so good. I think it would be a rookie mistake to declare that we are in the clear or good as gold. Because in two weeks, Jonah could end up coming down stairs for a glass of milk at midnight or climbing the ladder to bunk with brother. But I will say that so far, it’s so good. And while I am sure the shiny newness will wear off, a huge beautiful part of this move has been how excited big brother B is to have Jonah bunk below him.

And why the bunks? For one, our current Brehm abode has three bedrooms. And second, Adam and I shared rooms with our siblings as kids and we are a-ok with our kids sharing a space for a bit.

One baby on the Brehm. Two boys in the bunk. And three or four months to go…