First They're Ours

At the beginning of this week, we knew we’d soon hold a new baby Brehm. And while we didn’t know just how soon soon would be. And we didn’t know it would be a him. And we didn’t know his name was Harrison. We knew one thing for certain… This baby would be loved by us. But even after having had two come before him. Having done this all before. I forgot just how much that love would be. Because Harrison does not get any less of our love than Jonah does. Or than Barrett does. Harrison gets his very own. 

I forgot how obsessed we’d be, just as we were with memorizing all of the Barrettisms and Jonahisms, with every single Harrisonism. I could just spend the entire day, taking it all in. Like how he has a little old man face that he scrunches up when his startle reflexes are triggered. Or that even on a three pound frame, his feet and his hands appear massive. I love the way his lips pucker and make the littlest fishy sounds as he opens and closes them. I love that even with a small set of gills he can push out a controlled little cry. And how he takes in a little breath when I kiss him softly on his cheek. I love how he smells like nothing else that the earth makes. And how he grips his long fingers around mine. And I absolutely adore that he looks so much like his brothers, minus the chimple. 

But most of all, I love how Harrison is currently a rock star at this life stuff. Though he spends the majority of his time inside his “super hero chamber”, he has not lost one single ounce of weight on his bones since birth. In fact, today’s weight showed a gain of one ounce! He has yet to need any breathing assistance. He is currently receiving nutrients into his blood stream via IV and he also is receiving mama’s and donor milk via feeding tube to his nose. He got to rock some major Stunna shades yesterday as they gave him some rays for a slightly elevated bilirubin level. And most importantly, he gets a little bit of skin to skin time with mama and daddy each day. 

I’m so thankful, each moment. Thankful he’s here. Thankful that he is safe. And receiving the most incredible care. And thankful we’ve been blessed with three beautiful boys that we get to call ours, at least for awhile. 

Today, I had my first tears. Not because I’m crashing yet {though I am just waiting for that moment} but because this week has been a lot. A lot that could have been scary or sad. But instead, has brought so much overwhelming happiness. So I think the tears were sort of an emotionless cleansing that I needed to shed. Sometimes, it is in the most unpredictable of times that we find the most bliss. And for me, this week has been one of those moments. And for that, I can’t possibly say thanks enough. 

“First, they’re ours and then, they’re the world’s”. How lucky are we?