It started with a CNA while I was still in-patient, postpartum.
“Aw, man. I bet you were sad when they said, ‘it’s a boy!’.”
“I think I was just pretty happy he was breathing.”
And that was the honest to goodness truth. I was thrilled that our baby. Our third boy. Was alive. And well.
…
And then I got it again from a nurse at a follow-up blood pressure check.
“Three boys. Now you’ll have to try for a girl.”
“Well, we tried for a baby each time and we won that lottery. So I think we’re good”.
Especially since the doc proceeded to tell me I really need to close up shop. For my health. And for the children I have.
…
I’ve talked about this ad nauseum. I really have a thing about people’s remarks about the gender of my children.
I get it.
It used to make me angry. But over time, I’ve come to understand a little better why people make remarks. I know, people are just making conversation. And they aren’t trying to be snarky. And I know there’s a school of thought that The “All-American” family is mom, dad, boy, girl and a golden retriever. And so people honestly seem to believe that we must feel slighted by three boys. And the same rings true for the family that has all girls. Because people feel as though some part of you has to feel incomplete by never experiencing both. And I’ve even had those who will go to the lengths of saying they feel sad for me. And I’m here to tell you, you can couch your sadness. Because we like our family. Just the way it has formed.
So I feel I must go on the record and say… just so there is never any question for our little loves…
Of course. We would have loved a girl. We would have loved her as we love our boys. Perhaps even differently, I am told. But not more. Never could I see loving something more. And if one really thinks I would be better off having had a girl, which one would you suggest I trade?
Because…
I would never trade Barrett for a girl. Because then, I would not get to be Barrett’s mom. And the love I feel for Barrett is special because he was our firstborn. And our first boy.
I would never trade Jonah for a girl. Because then, I would not get to be Jonah’s mom. And the love I feel for Jonah is special because he was the first brother. And made us feel like even more of a family.
I would never trade Harrison for a girl. Because then, I would not get to be Harrison’s mom. And the love I feel for Harrison is special because we believe he is our last. And because he makes us feel like our family is complete.
I get to be the parent of three incredible boys. And nothing about that could make that sad or be below my expectations.
These are our children. The ones that are 50% him. 50% me. I could not imagine them any other way than exactly what they are.
And I am so thankful they are all boys. Because that’s what makes them them.
…
And so to the pharmacist at Walgreens…
“Three boys! I love that! How blessed you are”.
Thank you.
I. Agree.
