Fool Me Thrice

A First child rolls and falls from a changing table and this happens…

{laying Barrett on the exam table at Urgent Care}
Dr: So he took a little spill.
Me: He fell from waist high to the floor, yes.
Dr: And Barrett began crying right away? Or did he lose consciousness?
Me: He cried right away.
Dr: And he can move all his limbs, yes?
Me: I wasn’t sure. He was screaming and shaking.
Dr: I’m sure he was scared. And he sensed your tension.
Me: I just didn’t want to take any chances…
Dr: You know, we wouldn’t normally see someone for this because generally people are too ashamed to bring their child in after a fall, a drop or a bump. Babies are resilient creatures. I mean, think about being born… he was contorted and squished through a tiny little space and his body bounced back.
Me: I guess. It’s just, I fell down the stairs while holding him when he was a month old and … oh my gosh… you’re going to call social services aren’t you?
Dr: Is that your carseat?
Me: Yes.
Dr: And you brought Barrett in the carseat?
Me: Yes.
Dr: Parents who beat their kids don’t bring them in a carseat.
Me: Okay.
Dr: He looks great. Give him some tylenol or motrin and watch for anything out of the ordinary. But don’t watch too closely.

{For the rest of that story, click here}

A Second child rolls and falls from the changing table and the parents come home early from date night to relieve a very wonderful sitter who feels horrible about the chain of events.

A Third child finds his way from the middle of a queen bed, onto the floor {I swear this baby must secretly walk. Or think he’s an 18 wheeler} and his mother picks him up, dusts him off, gives him the once over, and debates asking a room full of family who are none the wiser to these happenings if he looks normal to them. {Yes. I did ask. And yes. We all shared war stories}.

Our poor third child. It makes sense to me now why the youngest child is often the most spoiled {outside of them being generally awesome. Ahem.}… To mask all of the trauma and emotional scars of being picked up, dusted off, and sent on their merry way without a second thought. Or mayyyybe, that’s why they’re the coolest? {Can ya tell I’m a youngest child?}

“If I fall from a high place again, someone’s gonna get it…”
-H, 8 mo

I am convinced that my children have a severe fear of heights. They are always trying to escape them. Or maybe they are just early practicers of the stop, drop, and roll method but have it confused as roll, drop, don’t stop. Or they take the lyrics of Florida Georgia Line very seriously and are showing me, this is how we roll. Regardless of the reasoning, they are definitely adventure-seekers. When it happened to B, I felt like a failure. When it happened with J, I felt bad for the sitter because I’d been there, done that, and earned the merit badge for my Mom Sash. And welp, with Harrison, I decided, perhaps it’s a positive thing we are feeling complete with our number of children.

Other than one other occasion which included MRIs, CT Scans, and an ultrasound {that was a dark day.}, I can say that so far, the damage has only been emotional, and on my end. Oh my stars, have we been fortunate thus far.

So the saying goes, Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. And I’m pretty sure the next line that no one talks about says, Fool me thrice, count yourself lucky and maybe wrap your kid in bubble wrap and install trampoline flooring so as never to be fooled again.

Yeah… I think that’s how the saying goes.