Boy: Why did you leave the freakin’ back open?
Dad of Boy {mom giggling verrrry quietly}: B. I don’t know where you heard that but it isn’t appropriate for you to use the word freakin’.
Mom of boy {under her breath}: I know where he heard it…
Mom of boy {out loud}: Barrett, I am sure you’ve heard mommy use that word. But it’s not appropriate for your age. It’s not really okay to talk like that but mommies get to use terms like that because we’ve had people in our uterus. When you have a uterus, you can use words like that. Or when you’re old enough to know what a uterus is.
Boy: What’s a uterus?
Dad of Boy {to mother of boy}: Way to go…
Mom of Boy: It’s part of a woman’s reproductive system. It’s where a baby grows. Women have uteruses. This doesn’t mean all women can have babies. But it means that boys and girls have different organs and parts.
Dad of Boy: You know Carter’s mom… and how her belly is round right now and it looks like her stomach is big? It’s actually her uterus that is carrying the baby and getting bigger.
Boy: Will I ever grow a uterus?
Mom of Boy: Probably not.
…A few mornings later…
Boy: Mom. I know a goal for October.
Mom of Boy: Oh yeah? What’s that?
Boy: Maybe we could all just keep calm in the morning and not whine and not complain and be happy about it being a new day. And then we’d have a good day. And then October would all be good.
Mom of Boy: Are you sure you’re not actually 64?
Boy: 64? What do you mean?
Mom of Boy: Sometimes when you say things like that, I think you’ve got to be at least 64 years old.
Boy: HAHAHAHAHAHA! MOOO-AAAAM! I couldn’t be 64. I can only be 5. Because your uterus is only… how old are you again?
Mom of Boy: 32.
Boy: 32. Your uterus is only 32. So I can’t be 64. Because I was in your uterus.
Mom of Boy: Can’t argue with that logic.
………………………………………………………………………..
The boy can’t tie his shoes but he does know the word uterus. Small victories.
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