Flowers.
A romantic dinner out.
Opening my car door.
A good RomCom.
Saying I love you mid-sentence.
A two hour conversation complete with canoodling. Hand holding. And giggles.
Those things used to be sure things. The turn-ons of all turn-ons. Aphrodisiacs. The hubba hubbas. And I think those are pretty standard fare for a lot of girls. At one age or another.
But now… I fear, those things are not necessarily silver bullets any longer. The hubs and I have been enjoying wedded bliss for almost a decade. And our life together has morphed just a wee bit since our first date almost 14 years ago. So romantic dinners… well, they’ve currently gone by the wayside in favor of nights cuddled on the couch after the kids go to sleep. And a good Rom Com… well, I was pretty proud to have kept my eyelids ajar for the entirety of We’re the Millers the other evening. Which was the first movie we’ve watched in four score and seven. So the things that make me randy in this current life are far from a mid-day rendezvous {sorry, hubs}. Now, the things that crank my tractor are, well, different.
oh. my. I’ve gone from being one cliche to another. I have. What the what, people? When did this happen? After five years of marriage? After one kid? After staying home? After turning 30?
I’m not sure when it happened but it did. Because while flowers and wine are mighty fine. And I still swoon at the scent of a freshly pulled bouquet. And I’m all about a dinner out if the stars currently align. And chivalry is still much appreciated. The list of things that turn me on… that get me going… that put hearts in place of my eyes like that heart-eyed emoji… that makes me wanna knock socks {I rarely don boots these days}… well, those things, they’ve done changed over time. Or maybe just expanded. {And dad, if you’re still reading, you may wanna stop now. And that goes for anyone in my life that thinks the Stork delivered our babes…}
Just the other day, my husband, standing at the kitchen sink, with his back turned to mine, said, “I was thinking maybe we should make a list of tasks for this weekend since we have so much to accomplish.” You would have thought he just delivered me a hundred bouquets of happy white daisies. Or doused himself in Axe. It took everything I had in me to not turn around and rip his clothes off. Okay. Slight exaggeration. I’m still breastfeeding. So I’m not that easily excitable. But I did respond, “Um. Are you trying to seduce me? Because I haven’t even had my Diet Coke yet. It’s a little early for foreplay.” Because it was pre 8 am. And ripping clothes off just wouldn’t be appropriate in front of children at that time of day. Or really ever, I suppose.
But really. Making lists? My husband wants to make a list? Clearly he was trying to get into my pants, right? Because list making… well, that’s pretty much one of my favorite adult pasttimes.
A day later, I walked into our bedroom to find a ginormous amount of clothing piled on our floor. “Sorry about the mess. Just cleaning out the closet,” he said. Had I not had a baby on my hip at the time, I am pretty sure we would have gone to Funky Town right then and there. CLEANING OUT THE CLOSET? Clearly he was puttin’ out the vibe. And to that, I said, *wink wink.* Message received, husband. Loud and clear.
And then, there was the day that he did load of laundry after load of laundry. All day long. And in my head, I thought, I’d better call 9-1-1 because that man is on FIRE. En Fuego. Burning up from hotness.
The things that make me wanna put on a little Marvin Gaye these days would seem a bit less logical to my 22 year old self. But they are what they are. Because the way we use our time right now is different than before. When my husband’s rushing home from work to see me, it’s because he knows he can man the children while I prepare dinner. And usually, when we do go out as a couple, it’s for something not just for us. And while, with children, this is not always the case, with the ages of our children, it is our current lifestyle preference to hang closer to home… Especially with the milk in the boobs and all.
So what makes me feel frisky now? Welp, there are things… every day average happenings… that seriously make me wanna open mouth kiss the Mr. such as…
// Cleaning. Is there anything hotter than a dude with a dust rag and a can of Pledge? Yes. A man with a toilet brush is hotter. But that is all.
// Organizing. Even just talking about organization. And being organized. And planning. Oh yeah.
// Dancing in the kitchen. Being swept off your feet with a spatula in your hand and water boiling over while Joshua Radin croons in the background. There are never too many cooks in the kitchen when that’s what’s bringing the heat.
// Spending weekend days with happy children. When we are all together, in our own little world and life feels just right, it kinda makes me wanna have more babies. Or at least practice makin’ babies.
// Seeing him dressed up for work. Because for some reason, seeing the hubs in his work attire makes me feel like I’m playing house. And when you’re playing house well… that can lead to some risky business.
// Putting the kiddos in the car in the mornings. My hubs helps load our lot into the car most mornings. He doesn’t have to. But he does it out of the kindness of his heart. And that. Well, that’s hot.
// Alone time. You know that old saying, If mama ain’t happy, nobody’s happy? Well, when mama gets a little refresher, mama’s happy. Like giddy.
// Seeing him accomplish his goals. Confidence is seriously sexy, AMIRIGHT? And follow-through is almost just as much so. So seeing my main squeeze accomplish his goals is a surefire way to make mama swoon. And lately, he’s been pretty focused on running which I find pretty fetching.
// Watching Parenthood. We’ve yet to catch up on this season but I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, that show is an absolute homerun for this girl. I don’t know if it’s all the emotion. Or what. But it’s somethin’.
// Saying I love you mid-sentence. No matter how much time passes, I have a good feeling that him randomly telling me he loves me, for no reason at all, will always make me exclaim, “More COWBELL!”.
Now… To be fair, I don’t want you getting the impression that we take it down to Funky Town 23 times a day. It’s likely very sad for my husband that it is often, in no way feasible to actually act on most of the times of a day where he makes me feel saucy. Heck, by the time there is time for such business, my brain is screaming SLEEP more often than might be preferred {wink, wink}. But still… The list has clearly been updated since I was a spry coed. So maybe I’m boring now. Because it’s not the spontaneous situations that make me wanna snuggle up to my husby. Or make my heart go boom boom boom. Or get my dancing shoes on for the horizontal mambo. But I’m alright with that. Because weird or otherwise, he still turns me on like a radio. And that’s really all that matters, right? And if the house gets clean as a result, well my friends, that’s what we call a win/win/win.
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