I was doing one of my 452 daily perusals of social media the other day and scrolled upon a list that read, “Gift Ideas for The New Mom”. I too, have made suggestions before of gifts for new mamas, new babies, and even NICU parents. But as I read the list, I thought, yes… meals are nice but what about the reallllly practical stuff? And WHAT about the stuff for parents with really dissatisfied customers?
What on earth do you get the parents who have a baby who screams all the time? And what to get for mom and pop when the babe just won’t stop? Here are my top suggestions of survival tools for parents of screaming babes. Because sometimes a baby carrier, swaddle blankies, and binkies, are just the tip of the iceberg…
1. FitBit
If only FitBit would have been on the scene when we had our first child. I would have easily busted through any and all daily “step” goals. I walked miles upon miles around my living room with a baby who screamed, basically without end. We would rock that walking route anywhere from 3-6 hours each day for the first 5 months. A FitBit or a fitness tracker would have given me a sense of accomplishment each day outside of I just survived another day.
2. Noise-cancelling earbuds
I can recall a very good friend of mine saying, I would just put headphones in when she heard about our belly-aching boys. Where the dickens was that suggestion two months, three months, and four months in… I don’t know. But had I known I was going to have three crab apples in a row, I would have laid down some coin for some fancy pants Bose Noise-cancelling buds. Then I could have caught up on Serial or drowned out the cries with Rihanna and Kanye’s Four Five Seconds on repeat. Heck, I could have probably even completed my 4 year old reading list by listening to audio books.
3. WD40
The worst thing that can happen to life as a new parent is a squeaky door hinge. You finalllly get your babe to sleep. You finallllly are tip toeing out of their room, hands free, and squuuuuuuueaaaaak goes the door… WAAAAAAHAAAAAH goes the babe… and out the window goes your sanity.
4. CamelBak
When you are going into battle, you gotta stay hydrated. And when you’re the parent of a baby who cries allll the live long day, I can assure you, it can feel like a battle. Strap on a CamelBak daypack and you can keep tabs on your water intake as the baby drains everything else.
5. Ankle weights
Again, let’s make lemonade out of lemons here, people. If you’re gonna be walking, bouncing, jostling, and snuggling up while on your feet, you might as well maximize your outcome, right? Strap these babies on while you strap the babe on and you and your CamelBak will be ready to take on whatever comes your way.
6. Percocet
While I am sure it is completely unethical and highly illegal to supply such drugs for anyone outside of your own person {disclaimer stated!}, I can tell you that post-c section, I was on percocet for 10 days and even with a child in the NICU, I was much happier than I had been at home with screaming, aching babes. I don’t know if it was the percocet, but I also don’t know it wasn’t, people. Just sayin’. So while I am not suggesting people do drugs {I am from the D.A.R.E. generation, after all} I will say that if, especially momma, is having a really difficult time with sad babes, do not begrudge her her happy pills. Hormones are hard. And a baby screaming on top of hormones is harder.
7. US Weekly
New moms and dads can feel like their life has been turned upside down. They might feel like they will never sleep or shower again. But reading about how much of a freaking nutjob Kelsey from the Bachelor is will help them gain perspective on all the ways their lives are not so bad. Because even if they feel a little inept with their screaming babe, at least they aren’t batshit crazy.
8. Big League Chew
When else is it normal for a grown human to put in a huge stringy batch of grape Big League Chew? I can think of no better excuse than my baby is crying all day. Just go with it.
9. Painter’s suit
Often times, screaming babies are also spitters. Hop on amazon.com and order up those colicky baby-parents a painters suit or one of those Walter White science onesies. At least mama won’t have to worry about laundry on top of her other woes.
That’s just the start, I am sure, but it should give you a few go-to gifties for parents who are at their wit’s end. Have you dealt with screaming babes? If so, how did you survive? And if you haven’t endured a very fussy, crabby, particular, belly-busted babe, then I don’t know if we can be friends. {Except you, D… you are grandfathered in.}
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