a WHOLE new March

March. To me, there’s something about March. Something lovely. But then something of a tease. Because there’s something about the sunshine in March that fills me with a little extra hope. Something that makes my bones ache for fresh air. Something that feels so close, yet so far away, in a sense. But still, in March, it does feel a bit more, like there is something new on the horizon.

Because there are seasons. And right now, we are in winter. But being on the cusp of a new season… a new start… is a good feeling.

We are on the third month of the 2015 calendar! And February, though shorter than any other month, most definitely seemed longish this time around. Do you agree? I did get to celebrate my birthday and got a new do, but otherwise, it was a kind of a long drawn out affair of a month. We had a few snow days. Lots of verrry cold temps. One quick tummy bug. And rounded out the month with another double ear infection for Har accompanied by wheezing+breathing treatments.

If you missed my previous posts on the subject, here’s the dish:

Did you make resolutions for this trip around the sun? I very intentionally chose a word for this year, in lieu of true resolutions. Remember that post? If you don’t, you can read it here. The gist is, I have a lot that I want to fit into this year. Things that I want to introduce into my life, or reintroduce back into my world, bit by bit. And with that in mind, I chose the word WHOLE. And I determined I would start the year with two goals, and then add in two each month of the year.

So where are you today with the resolutions/goals/hopes that you had for 2015? If your only goal was to have it be better than 2014, are you succeeding?

Here’s where I am…

I made two goals in the month of January. And added two in February and now, will add two for March. All based on my WHOLE self.

1. Not yelling at my kids. Unless of course they burn the house down. Or severely injure a sibling.

Oooookay. This is not going to make sense, I fear. But I had an epiphany this month. Because I am working every single day to not yell at my kids. Because there’s so much out there about not yelling… not nagging… to start with love. And you know what? I do that. I almost always start with love. And the point at which I actually raise my voice, well, there’s a purpose to it. There is. And you know what I realized? I don’t feel as bad as I thought I needed to about raising my voice to get action. When I say it, it sounds like the easy way out, right? But the truth is, I have been being extremely intentional in the way I speak to the boys… and each time my voice gets to a yell well, it’s because the seventy-four other ways I attempted to redirect or ask them to do something did not work. So sometimes, there are going to be heated requests. But you know what else I realized? I am pretty sure my mom and dad yelled at me. I am also pretty sure they didn’t do everything for me. And I don’t remember much yelling. And I also am happy that they didn’t do everything for me. So I’m gonna go ahead and not feel so bad about the whole yelling thing. I am not into berating kids, or humans for that matter. And I plan to continue to focus on starting in a good place, a patient place. But that’s just not going to work 100% of the time. And I’m okay with that. For now. Because goals and objectives are ever-forming… And sometimes the target changes, and that’s okay, I think.

2. Stop putting myself down

I challenge everyone to have this goal. A goal of not putting yourself down. Not because I think we need to be all Kumbayah every day/all day but because positive energy does wonders on the universe. If we could take all the negative energy we give off or put into the air and instead, make that into goodness, kindness, and self-respect, I feel like the world would truly be a better place. Don’t quote me on that… but I’m totally serious. And something very important I am seeing already this year, with a WHOLE new outlook, is that it’s not selfish to focus on yourself… it’s imperative. I am feeling much more myself these days, in part, I think, because I am being nicer to me.

I made two goals for the month of February.
1. Guitar!

I’m doing it, people! And I’m loving it! I have had three lessons thus far and have four chords in my repertoire. I also have very very sore fingers but that is a-ok. I have long wanted to learn guitar but learning it with the boys in tow, is absolutely the best. I love how much they want to sing even though I am slow as molasses, I love how they want me to hold the chords while they strum, and I adore that the older two are seeing me start something new, and watch as I learn it through practicing… and acknowledge that while I know I have a long way to go {a verrrrry long way} the fun is also in the journey of reaching a goal. Additionally, it is my hope that they, too, establish a love for acoustic guitars in order to ensure their spots as future frat guys. Sorta kidding. Sorta not. And just to show you how practicing usually goes and just how long I have to go until we can sing around the campfire…

2. Drink tea every day

Easy peasy chicken cheesey, folks. I mostly have a tea in the afternoon now, in place of the diet Coke I was drinking every naptime and I really dig it. A little honey, a big mug, and some quiet time. It’s pretty much the bomb diggity. And I’m pretty sure people don’t really say that anymore. But I’m also pretty sure I don’t care.

Something happened in February. Something really fantastic. Even though we are in winter, I started to feel like my soul was in Spring again. I felt more me. Not like the old me or a new me, just a more familiar feeling, and I was so happy to see her. I think we all lose ourselves from time to time and I must have, more than I knew. Because I’ve talked over time, about how I knew I was missing parts of me. But I didn’t know that those pieces were calling out to be unearthed. I’m finding a better groove. In being the mama, and wife, and all that jazz, I forgot to just be me sometimes. To stop playing the martyr. To put me first every once in awhile… because it doesn’t just happen on its own, it takes effort. And so, I am putting effort into the one person who is going to be here with me through it all… yep… myself:). By making mini-goals, I feel like I am seeing progress. I feel like I am really thinking about things that make me feel more human. I am feeling much more energized and present these days. And I think being present in your own life is pretty darn important. I think I’m being a better cog in our family machine. I think I’m enjoying motherhood more. And my “job”. So this WHOLE resolution thing, well, it’s workin’ out for me this year. Who knew?

So, March… what are we gonna do with you?

a WHOLE new march goals…
1. Write one snail mail letter each week
The art of snail mail is dead as a doornail, I fear. But I’m bringing it back, peeps! I plan to write a letter each week this month and send it to people that I actually see on the regular… because that is some of the best snail mail ever. Writing letters, connecting with people… that stuff makes my heart sing. So I’m going for singing hearts this month. And hopefully I will then continue through the entire year.

2. One chapter!
Write one full chapter in my “book”. I have started a few excerpts but have been lagging on actually completing one whole chapter. I think that by completing one, I will have a sense of accomplishment I wouldn’t otherwise have. So that’s the plan, Stan.

So that’s my check-in y’all? I want to know how you’re feeling? What’s been harder than you anticipated and what has become a new habit? How are you feeling about 2015?

What are you creating in the life you are living? We are each a masterpiece in the making. Some of our works just come together sooner than others.

Cheers to a WHOLE new month! And hopefully, a WHOLE new season!