I was recently asked, “who are your favorite celebrities? Like who is someone you’d just really love to meet?” And you know what? I was stuck. I said, “well, Ellen, of course…” And then I paused, surely there are tons of celebrities I’d want to meet.
Before I had the boys, I was an avid reader of celeb rag mags. I was a watcher of alllll the Housewives. I kept up a little with the Kardashians. I watched Oprah on the daily. I tuned into the Today Show every single morning. I would read Pink is the new Blog during lunch every day. I could easily win the baby shower game where you match the celeb parent with their offspring. I considered myself a pop culture maven.
And now… Now I am just a shell of my former self when it comes to knowing what’s “in”. What’s trendy. Who is hot and who is not. Whether or not phrases like “hot mess” or “on fleek” are in or out. I scoff when my “adopted teenage daughter” {my 16 year old neighbor} tells me that Facebook is so 2007. And I haven’t got a clue who Hamilton is outside of Alexander. I feel like That bald dude on Austin Powers saying, “I’m hip! I’m cool! Duckaduckaduckaducka.” Those are just the facts of this mother’s life.
It’s not that I don’t care about pop culture. I desperately love watching all of the antics of the Housewives of all the cities. I watch Ellen at 4 whenever I get the chance. I binge watch Project Runway on Lifetime On Demand. I just viewed the series Finale of Girls and was so sad it was over. And I just started wanting to figure out what exactly is in fashion these days again. I want to be “in the know”. I think. I want to be star struck. Totally overcome and befuddled by the most famous of the famous. But life has so much more going on right now. Like with cancer. Like with the people I know. Like with my little world. And even the very big world around us. So what was my response after I said, “Ellen…”? It was, “I don’t know. I guess I’m just so taken by real people. And real stories. And authenticity.”
For the purpose of the question, I have to tell you, without divulging any details, I’m pretty sure it was the worst answer I could have given. But it was the truth. I should have said, “well, the Gilmore girls and Ellen were my besties when I was staying home with my first child.” Or “Oprah got me through two screaming babies so I suppose I should thank her.” Or “Jen Hatmaker and Tina Fey make me laugh like nobody’s biz”. But instead of being starstruck but I was stuck. Maybe it’s because of my interactions with b list pro-athletes during my non-profit days or the very nasty singer managers who called me names like, “little girl” {ohhhhh the memories}. Maybe those “celebrity” run-ins ruined celebdom for this mama. Or maybe, I just couldn’t be anything but honest in the moment.
Yesterday, I got the opportunity to attend a luncheon for the Nebraska Medicine Guild. It was way fancier than I’ll ever be. In fact, given my history of working and planning special events and non-profit fundraisers, I always feel like a fish out of water at fancy pantsy events. I love them but I just feel like a poser. First, I feel too consumed with the mini details like, “does everyone have a seat” and “are people enjoying the food”. And second, I’m also always certain I’m going to use the wrong fork or say the word “fuck” or “placenta” and offend my whole table. I always feel like I talk too much and I wear the wrong thing. And I feel like I say things like, “oh, I know what school that feeds into…” when someone says they’re from Panama because I am familiar with Panama, Nebraska, as well as the country of Panama. Like, I know enough not to divorce the salt and pepper and such. I wasn’t raised in a barn. But mostly, I’m kind of a shit show. A walking shit show.
And for the most part, I am good with that. Like I said recently, I, for the most part, am very aware of the girl wearing my skin and I dig her.
But anyway, I was at this lunch and the speaker was the talented and brilliant, Ali Wentworth. If you don’t know who she is, you suck. Just kidding. She was in the Soup Nazi episode of Seinfeld. But I really “got to know her” {because that’s how we feel, right? Like we sorta know these people who share their lives publicly} when she was active on the Oprah show. She’s witty. She’s adorable. And her comedic timing is flawless. Anyway, the moment I got invited to the lunch, I said yes. Not because it was a chance to see a celeb per se. But because this gal makes me laugh. And laughter is the very best medicine. For real. And if you know anything about me right now, I don’t say yes to anything immediately. Because cancer, y’all. I am never sure if I’ll have energy or kid coverage. But this… I would make this work come hell or high water.
So I watched as Ms. Wentworth took the stage yesterday and was taken by something. She’s normal. I mean, a fancy normal, of course. Like, grew up in DC with political parents. Is besties with SJP and Mariska Hargitay. Lunches with her husby, George Stephenapalous {pretty sure I spelled that wrong} of GMA. She is an accomplished writer, actor, director, and mother.
But she is normal. And I loved that about her. I was captivated the entire time she spoke by how unscripted and ordinary this fancy normal woman was. And fascinated by the experiences she’s gotten to live in her short 50 years.
And I realized maybe that’s why, when asked, I couldn’t think of a celebrity I am dying do meet. Because right now I am so inspired by so so many of “the every day people”. People who are just livin’ the dream without being famous. Because I know funny women. I know writers who are incredible and aren’t even on the map. I know people who are making a huge difference in lives of others. People whose talents far surpass anything I could even dream of being. And none of them are famous. Or “notable” for the most part. They are just normal people. Being freaking awesome.
Ali {I’m going to pretend we’re on a first name basis even though I only met her face to face for aboooouuuut 4 seconds} said the most wonderful thing as she spoke. Someone asked her if there was anything she hasn’t done out of fear and she replied, “not really. I sort of believe in the art of doing. Of doing everything I get he chance to do.” {I don’t know if that is verbatim. But you get the gist.} That quote resonated with me. And summed up my experience and life outlook after having gone through the last six months.
I want to do. If someone invites me to a lunch, I want to go. If someone asks me to scuba dive — something I used to be afraid of –I think I’d give it a whirl. If someone gives me the opportunity to write and share my story, I’m going to take it. Especially after radiation, once I’m over this last hurdle for a bit, and I don’t have crazy scheduling holding me back, I want embrace the art of doing, for the rest of what I hope is a very long life. I want experiences over things. I want to really live. I want to show my kids the world. I want to find ways to tell all of you thank you. I want to make sure my husband knows, daily, that one of the best parts for me of benign cancer-free is getting to walk through life on earth with him. And I want to shower goodness. Bits of goodness. All over my family. My friends. And everywhere I go.
Maybe that’s why we’re often star struck or taken with celebrities. Because they’re lives seem so glamorous. Their adventures seem so fantastic. And their plates of food always look so perfectly portioned. Their lives, as we see them, seem flawless. And for all of us who know our flawed selves, flawless seems foreign and fascinating.
My other very favorite thing that the wild Ms Wentworth said when asked who she thinks is funny was, “I think a lot of people are funny. Like, regular moms from school are some of the funniest people I know. I find people funny who are naturally funny rather than standup funny”.
I just loved that.
It’s so ridiculously true, isn’t it? I have friends whose lives I’d love to watch on Bravo more than Odd Mom Out or Million Dollar Listings or whatever that’s called. I know bloggers whose words I’ve enjoyed more than many published authors. Sometimes the people who are never going to be celebrities are the people who I find myself most intrigued with. Doing what they love — singing, writing, acting, changing the world through their knowledge or teaching — with little to no pay, simply because they love it. And are making a difference to maybe just one person.
So, Ali changed my mind. So thanks, Ali. I would now like to meet some celebrities. Who? Anyone. In fact, any one I could. Anybody {especially ones who own private islands and want to talk to me on the beach;)… Hee hee}. But I also just want to continue to meet as many people as I can. Celebs or not. Why else are we put here if not to make human connections? And really trying to understand where others come from. It’s fascinating. Because I never know what lessons each different person is going to teach me. I never know what nuggets they are going to leave me with. I love to hear about experiences. And different worlds and upbringings and backgrounds. And I love the idea of finding the normal in each of these famous people and the famous in every normal person. And liking them more because, as US Weekly says, they’re just like us.
Tell me, tell me… Who are you just dying to meet, famous or not… And why?
And a huge hanks to the Nebraska Medicine Guild for the beautiful lunch and for introducing Ali Wentworth to Omaha and Omaha to Ali. Hoping she had that 72 ounce steak and bought a house before she hopped her plane home.
