If I’d never met that nurse, I wouldn’t have found a Midwife that I loved. I never would have known about the benefits of something non-mainstream. I never would have gotten the extra TLC I would someday need during three high-risk pregnancies and deliveries.
If I’d never met that nurse, I wouldn’t have understood how hard nurses work. How they are the glue that hold the patients and the doctors together. That they are the ones who provide the continuity of care for the patient. That they are the boots on the ground.
If I’d never met that nurse, I wouldn’t have been so happy to walk into the high risk doctor’s office for each appointment. If I hadn’t gotten to catch up with her as she took my vitals and we talked kids, tv, and food, I’d never have felt such a connection to the office. To the doctor.
If I’d never met that nurse, I never would have thought I’d survive my first labor. I’d never have known how to manage the pain. Or get through the darkness of that night of my first birthing experience.
If I’d never met that nurse, I’d have been left crying alone as my husband left with the baby and I was left behind to process the news of the complications resulting after the birth.
If I’d never met that nurse, I’d not been able to learn how hard you can bathe the babe. And how to swaddle up the little burrito. And have my baby cared for like he was the only baby in the nursery.
If I’d never met that nurse, I wouldn’t have been able to talk about my post-partum blues. The hemmorhoids. The mastitis. The nipple issues.
If I’d never met that nurse, I’d never had the most incredible delivery experience with my second child. I’d never known that birth could be a beautiful experience. I’d never been allowed to hold him for so much longer than any doctor would have allowed. I’d never known the incredible gift of one moment in time.
If I’d never met that nurse, I’d never been able to figure out breastfeeding. And pumping. And the schedule. Of a second preemie who only wanted to nurse on one side, while being bounced, standing up.
If I’d never met that nurse, I’d not been able to withstand the news of a miscarriage. The news of no fetal pole. The news of low counts. I’d have had no one to call each and every day I was having a breakdown because I’d never lost a life inside of me before.
If I’d never met that nurse, I’d have had the hardest time hearing the words, “You’re pregnant” after a miscarriage. I’d have had no one who would take my calls every day, when I was sure there was something wrong.
If I’d never met that nurse, I wouldn’t have been able to walk out of the doctor’s office destined to deliver that day. Too early. Earlier than I wanted to. I wouldn’t have had faith that it would be okay. Until I said goodbye to her and she hugged me and cried with me.
If I’d never met that nurse, I’d not have had such a joyful, funny time during labor. As she told me about her little one and I felt like I’d known her forever. As she sat with me and then went into delivery with me for my first c section. And was my cheerleader.
If I’d never met that nurse, I would have hated the NICU. I would have hated leaving my baby every night with strangers. If they were ever strangers. But they weren’t. They loved him like me. They knew him better than me. They spent Christmas with him. They texted me for months following. And loved him like he was a part of them.
If I’d never met that nurse, I would have melted down when I received the call. The call from my “case manager” that I had cancer. That I was going to go through hell. But she told me I’d live. She gave me her cell number. She told me to call her any moment of the day. She meant it. And has been with me every step of the way.
If I’d never met that nurse, I’d never have seen how God puts angels right where you need them. When you are waiting for surgery and the nurse you get is so faithful and hopeful for you.
If I’d never met that nurse, I’d have been terrified for every session of chemo. That nurse. Those nurses. They are there when you have hair. When you don’t. When you’re weak. When you’re strong. And when you are completely falling apart. And asking the same questions over and over.
If I’d never met that nurse, I’d never see compassion every time I walk in the door. Every time I get my vitals. Every time I smile or cry. I’d never have known that some humans are just destined for greatness that will never get credit where credit is due.
If I’d never been a nurses’ aid, I’d never even considered becoming a nurse. And then believed it would be too hard to become a nurse. Because I realized that that nurse, to a patient, can be everything.
If I’d never met that nurse…
I just don’t know where I’d be.
Thank you for being a nurse. Thank you for being my friends. Thank you for changing my life, for the better. You rock.
