Eight signs boys must get a period, too

Geez. Louise. Everyone talks about the hormones of women. As long as I’ve been a girl {note: all of my 33 years} I’ve heard comments and jokes and jabs about the roller coaster ride that women/females/girls/ones with vaginas take the rest of the world on daily. Weekly. Monthly. 
People blame women’s ability to bleed monthly for their mood swings. Their buying habits. Their tears. Because estrogen, right?
Well my friends, it’s time I let the entire reading audience here on a secret. I am pretty sure that if bleeding once a month is what makes women go 246 then boys, too, must be having secret menses. Because testosterone or not, I am fairly certain that my boys are just as menstrual as your girls. 
And of note, I don’t always write about my boys like this as they are getting older but when I do, it’s because I want to. 
So… Eight things that lead me to believe my boys must actually be on their period:
1. I found a maxi pad in their closet. Yes. Really. I mean. It’s a light days, so perhaps they were just spotting. 
2. Tears. Lots of them. For reasons including: life not being fair, having to flush the toilet, being parented, and breathing. 
3. Anger. Like fatal attraction bunny in a pot reactions to things like: brothers sharing Legos, brothers sharing rooms, brothers sharing breathing space. Throwing things. Grabbing. Hitting. Scraping. Because periods. 
4. Heavy eye rolls. I am convinced women’s uterus function is tied to their eye rolling. Because sometimes women clearly just cannot help themselves from a heavy eyeroll. Well, pre-pubescent boys are apparently the same — sans uterus, of course. 
5. Sweet cravings. The demand for dessert around here is downright comical. And dessert as a reward. Dessert as a reward can lead to both number 2) tears and number 3)anger. Clearly only a menstrual cycle could create such intense needs for chocolate. 
6. The need for alone time. These boys need their space like mama needs a bath and a glass of wine. But when you give them their space, you have to do it right or they will shit upon you for the space you have provided by telling you that you are basically the worst and using many “OKAY” responses to whatever it is you ask of them. 
7. Sudden fits of giggles. I’ve watched for years of living with all women. The fits of giggles that cow amidst the tears when they realize, eyes full of tears, snot drubbing down, that they are being ridiculous. I saw this same behavior as my 7 year old lay on his bed screaming at the ceiling the other day. And then turned into a giggly mess. 
8. Whatever you thought you knew about them yesterday is gone today. So don’t even try. 
So there you have it. Boy moms are not exempt from the “irrational behaviors of women” because apparently, all humans have a period. And just as I am shutting down my estrogen, apparently, my boys’ supply is gaining momentum. 
However, I am fairly certain I won’t have to teach anyone how to wear a tampon. So. #Boymomming for the win there.