He was born on June 13th 2011. I wasn’t thinking at the time about school. I was thinking about what a peanut he was. His due date had been July 11th, I think. He was 4 lbs 11 oz. He was craaaaaanky. And at 18 months he still wasn’t talking. So our wonderfully intuitive Pediatrician suggested he be referred for speech services.
We weren’t concerned about the fact that he’d be have to “classified” as having a delay. We didn’t feel bad at all for taking advantage of the services provided for kids like the Middlest who needed these services to prosper and grow. We were sure that if he was accepted, it would be because he, in fact, was in need.
After we went through the Nebraska Early Intervention screening process for delays and special needs, the Middlest was determined to be qualify for Speech Services from age 18 months and on, with reviews every 6 months on his progress. At that point, he was placed on an IFSP for speech and language development — an IFSP is an Individual Family Service plan.
From the start until he turned 3, we had a tax dollar funded speech therapist who was employed by our school district, come into our home once a week. And then, when he turned three, he was able to attend one of the three early education centers within our district. Four mornings a week. 8:30-11:30. With transportation provided if needed.
And it made all the difference. The Middlest was consistently tested on his speech progress, we received OT for his oral motor setbacks. We received a PT evaluation. And we kept an eye on potential sensory disorder red flags. Our school district and the faces that he came to know through it, the ones who became an extension of our crew, were phenomenal.
Last January, he graduated from meeting the requirements for speech services and rolled off of his IEP {individual education plan}… All before he even entered Kindergarten. That’s the beauty of early intervention. Your child can enter school with the same set of skills that all the other kiddos have.
The school called to see if we’d be enrolling him, the district provides the suggestion that they do go when they are 5. They also suggest that if they have done early intervention, they are ready to go when the school cutoff arrives. And lastly, there was an alternate thought that if he didn’t thrive in Kindergarten, we could simply elect to hold him back for a second year or Kindergarten within our school. And we love the school district and put a lot of thought and stock into their opinion of his abilities.
But we still didn’t send him to school.
And people want to know, “what was your reasoning? How did you know whether to send or not?”
Well, if you were talking to me, I would ramble through the first couple paragraphs of this blog post and explain the speech thing, the summer birthday, him being a boy… I’d provide plenty of reasoning for anyone who’s inquire waiting until one of our “reasons” satiated their inquiries. But the truth is…
We just know the kid.
We know that he’s active and picky and still has meltdowns. And while that may just be how he always is, giving him a year of transition before school works for our family.
Some kids are ready when they’re 4 or 5. The Middlest would have been absolutely fine academically. But to me, Kindergarten isn’t really about academics, it’s about gaining confidence to be independent. So why not let him sink or swim? Throw him in and he’ll gain his water wings. But we had decided we’d rather give him another year of maturity so his teacher might not be questioning his intelligence because of any adjustment related behavior. And if we can offer him that, why not?
So, we have to budget differently this year. Because he’s in a 5 day program. Every day. Not at school but at a private pre-k. Just 45 minutes shorter than a normal school day. And he has to eat lunch there. And learn to eat different foods. And get through a longer day. But it isn’t free. It comes with a price tag. One that I think, if we had to pay for daycare for our others, would be impossible to make work for our family.
But for now, it’s how we roll.
I don’t know if it’s the right or wrong thing for the world. I mean, 25 years ago, kids went early on the regular. But now, there are options upon options for pre-school. But it feels like gone are the days of Kindergarten being playtime, rest time, and strawberry square. But that’s a whole different discussion. As for if I believe people should hold their kid, there is no black and white answer. But I already know it’s the right choice for us.
And we’re not holding him, or delaying him, or redshirting… Heck, kindergarten isn’t even required. So really, we’re just giving him another year to be a kid. And be one of the Oldest in his graduating class {and no. It has nothing to do with sports}. And have the confidence to be his own dude. And for that, I am thankful.
So yesterday he started a third year of pre-school. This time, pre-K… High 5s… More of a self-paced program. And he got two recesses. And beans and weenies. Which he called beans and penies. And gagged on.
Is it the right choice not to send a five year old? I don’t know how anyone could ever determine a definitive yes or no on that. So instead, we asked, is it right for us, and to that, we said, yep.
– if you are a Nebraska tax payer, find out more about Early Intervention services through your pediatrician, GP, or your school district.
