For a long time, I called it the day my world stopped.
Because it did. That world that I lived in before. It stopped. It went away. The world where I didn’t ever think about the fact that this life I have will not go on for eternity.
But from now on, I will refer to it as the day that saved my life. Because she saved my life that day. She saved my life with the words, “We’re going to get a mammogram.”
She saved my life.
Because she could have said, “we’ll watch it for 6 months.” She could have said, “you have no risk factors.” She could have said, “It’s nothing you crazy loon.”
But she didn’t.
And I contend that that saved my life.
My world stopped. One year ago today. September 4, 2015. In fact, a part of me died that day. So that I could live now.
I didn’t know. I didn’t know that I would grow closer to God and community in this last year than in any other year of my life. I didn’t know that in fighting cancer I would learn how much I loved myself. I didn’t know I would get more goodness than I can ever repay. I didn’t know that in losing my breasts I would gain a new love for this world. And my children. And my family. And my husband. And my friends. I didn’t know that something so so so crumbling would be pieced back together into someone so strong.
I didn’t know then that it wouldn’t kill me. I didn’t know if I’d be here today, writing these words.
I thought I was going to die of breast cancer.
And now I know I lived despite it.
I am here. One year later. I am here. For reasons unknown to me, I get to go on. I get to kiss my boys each night. I get to see the sun rise each morning. I get to know that sometimes when your world starts turning again, you realize that maybe it was spinning the wrong way before. Before it stopped. And it got a restart. And you got a second chance. And you better make it count this time.
I get to know the goodness of it all.
I wouldn’t have chosen it. I wouldn’t choose it for any of you. But if you’re there… please know that there’s a good chance that your world will begin to spin again. That the earth will move in some motion. One that is new. One you may take time getting used to. One that may not feel like anything else you’ve ever felt.
It could come back. The cancer. But it isn’t here today. One year later. And now I know that today is the only day that really truly matters anyway. Today is the day to thrive. Today is the day to love. Today is the day to feel gratitude. Today is the day to spread goodness. Today is the day to live.
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{Head to my Facebook page to see my GOODNESS GIFTAWAY!!!}
