I overuse the words. The words blessed. Thankful. Grateful.
They are so common now. It feels like they’ve become so cliche. So expected.
I looked up synonyms. The options include appreciative, pleased, contented, glorified, fortunate…
But there are no more words. At least not the right ones. The one that can adequately express my gratitude for getting to take breaths from my lungs each moment. There is no configuration of letters that I can put together that mean what I want them to mean… that I am overcome with the reality that I get to have/experience/be so much more than I deserve.
And I give thanks for that — today and everyday — for the million and forty-two beautiful blessings I have in my life. A floor to throw socks on. Hampers full of laundry. Shoes that stack up by the door. A refrigerator to keep our food fresh. Enough crumbs that I need to vacuum and sweep. Heat under a roof under a sky full of stars. Three little boys with noises and breaths that cause my heart to beat one beat after another. A husband who is the very best of them all… and who is a father my boys are the luckiest to have. Friends who make me laugh… giggle… mouth wide open, hand over belly — 100% myself — 100% of the time. Friends who stick with this show of mine through highs, lows, and all of it in between. Friends who I get and who get me. Friends who truly enhance life. Who remind me to live. Who I have this soul-stirring connection with. A connection that mak s me know I’m alive inside there. Family who shows up… isn’t just in my life… but is my life. And all of the other stuff. The million thirty other things/people/stuff.
I just don’t get it. I don’t get why I got this life. We don’t deserve it. None of us deserve the goodness more than anyone else does. But it’s been granted for me. And for so many I know. The goodness keeps on coming. Even when the hard stuff rolls in like waves. The goodness hits the shore in small little flutters… falling on the heels of the bigger stuff. And it’s. just. amazing.
I love this day… for the thanks. For the giving thanks. For the thanks-giving. I love the way that we are called to be better. To be grateful. To be reminded about our blessings. And to love all of the goodness that seems to become ours. Our story. Our lives.
And while it feels unfair… the fact that on a day when I get to be so grateful, so many are left wanting, needing… I know that is an even bigger reason to spread goodness. To be kind. To love. To do. And to live. Truly live.
I get to be healthy this year. That isn’t always the case. But I get it. I get to have family this year. That could change in the years ahead. I get to be with all my children this year. And I get to rest my head upon my husband’s hairy chest at night, in my onesie jammies, under warm blankets, and close my eyes to sweet dreams.
I am thankful. I am grateful. I am blessed. I. Am. Alive.