Pneumonia. Eagads. I went in for my four week post-surgery appointment to get my sinuses checked and de-breeded {yes. it’s a fun and satisfying activity where they stick both a camera stick and a sucker up your nose and vacuum out your boogers and crusties. I know. I’m hot. It’s hard being so hot.} with Dr. Barnes and PA Karla, and they questioned me about the cough that I’ve been rocking. I told them it’s just my dead grandmother. Which is what I’ve been telling everyone for three weeks. Because, you see, when I get a cough, I get a deep chesty throaty hack that sounds exactly like my grandmother’s cough has been reincarnated and is living captive in my lungs.
But alas.
They did a chest x-ray and guess what? I know. I already ruined it. But pneumonia. And people have asked, “is it walking pneumonia or pneumonia?” and here’s what I know, they did not mention if it had legs or limbs of any type but I do know that I am on azithromyacin and that HOPEFULLY this will not prevent me from having surgery on the first of december… although… it could. Eeeeeek. But I am not sure whether it is walking pneumonia. I would assume it is since I was dancing my big ol’ booty off last night to Walkin’ on Sunshine at Friendsgiving {which, of course, seemed to cause my dead grandmother to be even more active in my airway. But it was totes worth it.}.
So, I’ve spent most of the weekend in bed {save Friendsgiving} with the Gilmore Girls. Of course. I mean. The Gilmore Girls weren’t physically in my bed, clearly. But I’ve been finishing out the final season just in time for the new episodes to drop on Friday {and yes. I have watched the whole series multiple times. As in 7, I believe. I swear I have a life. I swear. Or at least, at times I do. But when any event has called for binge watching, GG has been my go-to show. My senior year in college. After I moved and didn’t have a gig. Having screaming babies — I went through it twice with B. That was a dark time. And chemo. And mastectomy. And now… again just to prep…}. So I suppose the pneumonia hit at just the right time. And I also slept for the majority of Saturday, which was lovely.
And I thought about where I was last year. The day after Thanksgiving last year I had chemo. I had chemo. It’s just weird. Maybe it’s weird because I have hair now. And not just hair but TRUMP/FloHen. Maybe it’s just weird because I can workout now. And not feel sicker than a dog. Or because I can be out of the house like a normal member of society without needing a mask to protect myself from bugs. Maybe it’s because a year ago, I had cancer. I was cancering. I was rolling in the deep dark reality of cancer. And now. Now here I am. Normal. I know. I write it all the time. But I just can’t get over it. Like slap me on the face and call me Suzy… I had cancer and now I don’t. What?! Shut the front door. It’s basically amazing.
Assuming this cough kicks itself to the curb and the hubs poo holds strong in the gut {as he mentioned the other day, the antibiotic is the first test of the power of “the transplant”}, Thanksgiving should be perfectly lovely this week. How about for you? We always do the Turkey Two-fer. We will lunch with the Brehm side and Dinner with the Eickman side. And this year, both in Omaha. And then, the day after, while all of my family will either be shopping or watching the Huskers beat the Hawkeyes, I will be holed up somewhere in my house binge watching the four new episodes of the Gilmore Girls. I mean, of course I will be paying attention to the game enough to warrant a bloody mary and some apps and wearing red, but mostly, I will be getting Gilmored all day if I can help it.
Back to the pneumonia, I also, for some reason, can’t really taste right now. Now. People have said, “Oh, you must not be eating then.” UMMMMMM no. I just keep eating things hoping to taste them. And then I eat more. And more. Hoping that I have taste powers back by Thanksgiving so I can tell that everything tastes the same on Turkey day. I’d hate to miss out on the mouthgasm that is turkey+gravy+stuffing+mallowsweetators alllllll smothered together on one plate. But really. Every other day of the year, gagmewithaspoon should my food touch… but on Tgiving, it’s basically a must, right? Although, I’m not a corn+potatoes girl. That’s where I draw the line.
And if you’ve stuck with my rambling through this point, you’ll be in the know that the Giftaway for this Holiday season is going to kick off THIS Wednesday! I. CAN’T. WAIT. I basically just want to give stuff away every day of the year.
One more nugget for you… I got my feedback from the Omaha Women’s Wellness Conference speaking gig and guess what… people didn’t hate me! In fact, apparently they sort of loved me. Like, I got a 4.8 out of 5 on average. And people said all these really sweet things. I was sort of in shock reading the feedback when I couldn’t find anything negative {especially since I went waaaaaaaaay over on time and well, I’m me} but it gave me a little shot in the arm as I’ve really been questioning if I have any business speaking. Or charging to speak. Or writing. I guess I’ve just sort of been second guessing myself lately. It feels like every 2 years I go through this funk where I think I am a total maniac for having a blog. And for being so open. And making so much of me public. I mean… I’m 34. I have to grow up at one point, right? I can’t just “play around on social media all day” and call it a job, right? Well. I want to. Thats the problem. That’s what I want to call my job, this blog. This writing. This speaking. Posting funny crap on IG and making people smile. It’s pretty much my jam. And maybe that’s weird. Or maybe, and what I fear most, perhaps, it’s extremely self-important and conceited. Maybe it’s completely inconsequential to the greater good. But. I think I am meant to share this weird life I’ve been given. Like, I don’t know why else I got cancer? I mean, I know, there doesn’t have to be a reason. But what if I was meant to share? I think maybe I was at this point. Because being real has made my life so much fuller than I even should be allowed. And so, selfishly, I want it to be my gig. But in order to that, at some point, I need to figure out how to make money on blogging or get a real gig that pays in something more than confidence or happy moonbeams. So, I talked with my friend, Molly, and I think we’re going to put a Sweet P and Fi ad up on my blog and I would be interested in talking to other small business owners who are interested. I don’t want to go the national ad route yet even though it’s easier money. I want to have brands that I support and believe in. And that way, when you’re clicking through, I know that it can actually go to something I like. I just want to get to be me and make money on it. Is that really too much to ask?! Ha!
This really wonderful soul said something insanely incredible to me the other day. I said, “I don’t know why people think I might be interesting to listen to but I guess I should be thankful they do…” and she said, “Some people just have the it factor. And you are one of those people.” Holy cheese and crackers. What dimension am I living in?! Like what world is this that people are so nice?! I don’t feel like an it factor girl. In fact, for the longest time, I struggled with being odd and too much for people and too happy and too too. And about five years ago, after I had the Middlest, I came to the reality that the world needs all different people and I am one of the types it needs. And then, with cancer, I pretty much just completely rolled with who I was and that got me through. So, I refuse to not be me. Even though I know I’m a lot. And odd. And very open. I just have to know that God knows what he’s doing when he designs all of our differences and that my super powers are different but necessary, right? Right.
So, after having a little bit of a time questioning if what I’m doing is what I’m meant to be doing, I’m done with that and I’m just going to keep on keepin’ on. Don’t expect any big changes. Just going to keep being this zany gal. And you’re welcome to get in my boat.
I have a fun piece coming up on Tuesday featuring some interior design Divas and then will kick the Goodness Giftaway off on Wednesday, for which I am 100% stoked! And please please say a prayer that mama will still get to have the boob surgery on the first and that this pneumonia will take a hike. And I hope that you’re getting ready to Gobble Gobble the whole week through. Because it’s a great time to be thankful. And to feast with friends and fam.
