The room was still dark with night. I was dreaming of slogging. Slogging is what I have named my version of what others call jogging. Because it is a very sloooooooow jog I do. I was dreaming of trying to get from one point to the next in my hometown. Slogging.
I opened my eyes and grabbed my phone…
“Hey babe… did we register?”
My clock read 6:10. And I knew that registration for the 2017 Lincoln Half Marathon opened at 3am.
…
I’ve never run a half marathon. In fact, I always said it wasn’t for me. It sounds hard. And I am not really into running. So why do it? But after running a 5k between chemo and my double mastectomy, in the cold of February. After seeing the hubs sacrifice his running goals for me during a year of life on hold, I decided, I want to do this with him. With my dad. With my brother. If possible. If I’m healthy. I want to do it.
…
We had our 2017 BrehmStorming goal setting sessions. I know. Sounds intense, right? Ha! Well, goal setting as a family is totally fun. And goal setting with a 7, 5, and 3 year old… it’s inspiring.
So we spent a few hours over the first week of the year BrehmStorming (get it, BrainStorming?!;). We wrote and wrote and wrote our ideas for the year. We came up with family words and themes for the year. We came up with a few personal goals. And we talked about them out loud to hold each other accountable.
The 3 yo… he wants a “BIG.boi.Bet” and to “wotty twain”… oh, and do less hitting
The 5 yo… he wants to tie his shoes, play soccer, and do track
The 7 yo… ohhhhh he had a LOT of items and finally landed on running a 10k (I know…), getting a colored clip, and learning coping mechanisms for times when he’s anxious or scared or fearful (yes. He’s and oldest child and this, 7 going on 37).
And he hubs and I, well, we made our own goals.
And as a family, we chose three themes… Respect of spaces, places and people. Active brains and bodies. And independent together.
We’ll hafta see how that all shakes out.
…
I just can’t wait. I know I wrote this the other day. But I can’t wait. I don’t want opportunities, hopes, dreams, and goals to pass me up. I can’t not schedule in advance anymore. It is sooooo me to not get things scheduled. To wait for others to do the scheduling and I’m on for whatever. I want to do. I want to live. I want to take advantage of the hours in the day. I want to spend my time doing things that are important to me. To spreading as much goodness as I can. I want to skydive and travel and yet, continue to sit, drink my coffee, peruse Facebook, smile, and be thankful.
I just want to thrive as much as I can. As much. As I can.
…
Last night, we had our first Family Friday night. Prior to the Holidays, on Friday nights, The hubs would get home and then we’d go out for dinner. But after our annual budget talk (yes. We are those Dave Ramsey people) we decided that dining out could be cut back and after family goal setting, we decided we could have Family Fridays.
We had happy hour in (complete with Cherry 7up in the boys’ cups), completed goal setting, and played Pass the Pigs Party and Operation. I just sat, content with the world… feeling grateful for our safety, our smiles, our togetherness, and our getting to be tied together in this earthly life.
And truly, there was magic in my heart. The laughter I heard felt in slow motion almost. I found myself staring at their expressions. I just wanted to kiss the sky and say, “thank you for these moments!”
It all sounds a bit melodramatic, I suppose. And yes, the evening still included the realities of parenting three boys under 7. But gosh, it all just felt right. It felt easy and unfancy and just totally full.
…
I want to capture every moment I can. I want my world to be filled with the people I love. I selfishly want to experience alllllll the things. I want to stay connected to the people I love and cherish the very most. I want to write true things. And I don’t want to forget in healthy times, what a timesuck it was to be sick.
…
Thoughts. I have a million. I’m all ablaze with fire in my heart. A fierce desire to capture life and hold on tight for the ride. And even in the simplest or most frustrating or Hard moments, I want to Live abundantly. And I feel like I have to write it all down so I don’t forget. Because I know that it is human nature to wax and wane… to have gusto and to want to give up… to feel the fire and then, to run out of steam.
…
We’re registered. For the 1/2. I am all signed on to figure out how this non-runner gal is going to reach a very new goal. I’m a little scared. A little overwhelmed. But mostly, ready to take the first step in climbing new mountains.
I have a million goals and hopes in my heart and prayers for this year. And I haven’t even thought past 2017. That feels like too much right now. In fact, in my goals, I even thought of just looking three months ahead… because then I will be a year Cancer-Free… and staying Cancer-free is my number one goal. Get through this year… kick it in the bum. And then we’ll look further.
And while usually I wouldn’t want to set goals that seem too lofty, too unreasonable… now I know that “even if I miss I will land among the stars…” so I will just live abundantly. As often as possible.
It’s such a gift… to be alive. To be healthy. To have my babes. And to know love. To have family and friends that I adore. Doctors who are endlessly fighting for their patients. It’s such a gift, right now, to breathe easy.
…
And so… hopefully… we will run. We will do. We will live. We may not… we may find ourselves slogging by February… but at least, I hope, we’ll be in it together. And for any or all of those things, I am excessively thankful.
