Are You a Boy or a Girl…

“July”

“And what are you having?”

“We don’t know.”

“When will you be able to find out?”

“We’re non-finder-outers. We will find out when the baby pops out of me.”

“I bet you really want a girl.”

“Really we don’t care. Just as long as the babe’s healthy, we’ll be happy.”

“Is this your first?”

“Nope. Second.”

“What was your first?”

“A boy.”

“I bet you REALLY want a girl now!”

Seriously. People. Let’s talk about why there are so many things wrong with the above interaction. A conversation which, throughout my collective 69 weeks of pregnancy, I’ve had at least once a week. Generally with strangers. On occasion with acquaintances. Rarely with friends. They know my beef.

After having that exact conversation with the checker at Wal-Mart the other day, I dialed up Dodie (my mom) and immediately began to vent. I believe I promised that the next person who stated that they were certain we really wanted a girl would be punched. And quite honestly, at that moment, I would have delivered on my promise.

If you’ve ever had the gall to say to someone, “I bet you really want a girl (or a boy… but being a woman, I’ve never once had someone say that)”, I’m here to share with you why I think that’s horribly gauche and classless {Yep… Call me Countess Luann}.

Perhaps the person you are chatting it up with does have a preference. But if they don’t, there could be a reason you haven’t even considered…

1. Infertility – Over 6.1 million women in the United States have difficulty conceiving or staying pregnant. I am so not making that number up. It’s legit. Not everyone just looks at their spouse and winds up with child. For all the women who try and try to get pregnant, the idea of preferring one gender to the other becomes extremely unimportant. Pink or Blue… being with babe is the real gift.

2. Miscarriage – Many sources estimate that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. For so many who have experienced the loss of a fetus, finally hearing a viable heartbeat has to be magnificently mahvelous. So, no matter the sex, these are sure to be beaming parents-to-be.

3. Health=Happiness – When we knew that Barrett was healthy… that was a glorious moment. To think that I would have wasted my time hoping for anything other than that seems just silly post-birth. I know people with sick kiddos and I have to think that the sex of the babe was minimally important once they got the news that their sweetpea was sickly. The entire process from implantation to birth is exceptional and miraculous. Would something like gender really keep you from utterly adoring your little love?

4. You like what you know – We LOVE Barrett. We would have loved him no less or greater if he had been Barretta. One person had the audacity to ask if I was sad when we had Barrett and found out Snowball had balls. No you weird, horrid person. We were not sad.

5. Last but not Least – Perhaps another reason we just, plum don’t care, is because we hope to have another child. Because of this, I am not in the mindset of this being our “last shot”. But, if it is our last shot and we have another boy, we will be thrilled… for the various reasons I posted before.

I think sometimes people don’t always think about the questions you ask someone who is pregnant. I mean, mamas-to-be are often already emotional balls of baby-bearing blubber, do you really want to make one cry?

Of note, a few other questions I believe should be left to the wayside unless you are tight as spanx with the mom-to-be include…

1. Was it planned? – If the pregnancy was unplanned, often times people will share that information without prodding and poking. If you have to think if you should ask, hold your tongue.

2. How long did you try? – Again, if people want to fork out this info, they will. Before becoming Grin+Barrett’s mom, I asked this question all the time. Now, I try to never ask because, if for no other reason, it’s really none of my beeswax.

So, I’m certainly not standing on my virtual soapbox saying you can’t have a desire or a preference for the sex of your baby… that’s a personal choice. But I do think that unless you know someone really well, making assumptions only… well, you know what assuming can do…

If you’re curious what I think {not prefer} the baby on the brehm is, I think, without anymore than 1.2% doubt that Grin is a boy. Adam thinks he’s a girl. I will admit, I did confirm with the ultrasound tech that Grin is 100% one or the other… fair question, I say. But all in all…pink or blue, we don’t care which hue.