Remember that time we had a baby in the NICU for 6 weeks? I know… I barely remember it either. While Harrison is only just shy of 4 months old, it feels, somehow, like it’s been in our rear-view for far longer. And while 6 weeks can sound like an extended period of time, I find myself still thinking daily of those families who had been Blue Bracelet Holders for months on end.
1. Hand Lotion – you’ll notice an over-arching theme in numbers 1, 2, and 3. The NICU is an arid environment. If you file through your 9th grade Earth Science knowledge, you’ll recall that arid = desert-like. Deserts are dry {not to be confused with desserts. You definitely don’t want your dessert to be dry}. Dryness zaps your moisture. And so does the copious amounts of hand sanitizer you pile on daily, whilst with a NICU babe, to keep germs at bay. So, I carried two containers of hand lotion with me at all times. I toted Jergens Original Scent {Target} and Laura Mercier Fresh Fig {Sephora}. Tuck a tube in a small care package for mama and she’ll love you long time.
2. Chapstick – Ditto number 1. And add to that the fact that if you are pumping, you are taking every ounce of liquid out of your bod and giving it to babe. So lather up those lips! I love Burt’s Bees, personally. But any good, coating, nourishing chappy will keep her lips happy.
3. Water Bottle – Ditto number 1 and the ditto on number 2. First… if you are a pumping mom {and let me just tell you how much they push breast milk in the NICU. So my mention of pumping and bfing when referencing NICU time is not my personal agenda, even though that’s what we’ve chosen, but rather the wish of the neonatologists and nurses} then you should be drinking at least 64 ounces of agua a day. And the hospital provides a jug for moms while in-patient. But having a couple back-ups for when that one is in the wash or inevitably, in a dirty wash load, is fabtab. Second, most hospitals have that glorious Sonic-like, crushed, round ice in their machines {why there is any other ice in existence, I do not know}… so I refilled my water about 6 times a day. So. A big bottle, with a straw. Boom.
4. Hands Free Pumping Bra – I didn’t buy one of these. And now, every time I think of doing so, I think I’ve made it this long without…surely my pumping days will soon end and so I don’t. But any mom who is pumping for a NICU babe is spending at minimum, 2 hours a day hooked up to a milking machine. A good hands free bra like this is a great tool for any mama who is pumping it up. {Alternatively, one of my fellow NICU mama friends had the ingenious thought to use her Bella Band from pregnancy and cut holes to hold the flanges on. And it totally worked. Bim. Bam. Boob.}
5. Phone Charger – I was fortunate to spend a good chunk of most of my days with Harrison and toting my charger back and forth meant that some days, it ended up in a hospital outlet rather than at home with me. And then, my phone was zapped at night. If you know what kind of phone mama uses, pick up an extra phone charger for her or for dad and nix possible drama over a dead mobile.
6. iTunes Gift Card – My oh my word… how times have changed. When I nursed our first, I didn’t even have a smartphone and by the time I had our last, I was using it all day to keep me company in the NICU room. The rooms are fairly quiet so watching videos on either a Tablet, iPad, or smartphone, with headphones, or playing games and listening to music is a great way to pass the time. Give mom or dad a gift card to get some new iLoot to keep the days from dragging on.
7. Blanket – Soft. Cuddly. Cute. Momogrammed. Personalized. Whatever. A couple of our friends gifted us blankets, one of which I left up on the chair near H’s super hero chamber to claim it as mine. It came in handy in skin-to-skin seshes and also when I wanted to snuggle his little self but needed to keep his temp regulated. But most importantly, it made my little corner of the NICU feel a little less sterile. And a lot more homey.
8. Hand Sanitizer – Whether you were previously a believer in the power of hand sanitizer or not, once you have a babe in the NICU, you will likely find your inner germ freak. While I generally think a little dirt never hurt, when you hold a 3 pound baby, you are reminded of the fragility of the human body. I didn’t even think I had an inner germ phobe but I found her pretty quickly after our peanut exited my premises, and that girl declared war on germs daily with constant sanitizing… both with sanitizer and good, old-fashioned, soap and water. Gift a small tube for mom and pop to haul in their diaper bag or backpack so that they are never without and can keep the icky sickies at bay.
9. Gas Card – We were seriously so fortunate that we had nearly zero commute when toting to and fro. But most mommas were not so lucky. There were people who drove from the other side of town and others, the other side of the state. So give a new mom gas. Er… Give her a card for gas and let her top off her tank.
10. Pens – Seems silly, right? But I never seemed to have a pen on me until a friend and NICU alum gifted me a package for the hospital. I was writing label after label every time I packaged up milk. And then there were notes from the docs. And people I needed to call. So a package of pens was just the write thing. I am very pen particular and so when I was gifted these Sharpie Fine Point Pens, I was basically stupidly giddy.
11. Meals – Gift cards for meals. A homemade meal from your kitchen. A bag filled with fresh food and groceries. Or vouchers for any non-nurser. Mom has to eat and so does dad. It’s a given. And since there is often no eating allowed in the NICU rooms, providing food options that are easy and accessible for those who are doing the back and forth is a welcome and lovely gesture. Ask mom or a family member if she has any dietary restrictions and make it rain.
12. Childcare – We didn’t just have a baby. We also had two other kiddos. And for six weeks, we needed to figure out how to balance all three. Thankfully, people helped with, and provided childcare, and funds for childcare. Life. SAVER. For reals.
13. House Cleaning – For me, knowing my house is clean provides sanity. And order in my universe. Once I went on bedrest, we moved around some budget items to make room for cleaning and it was money well spent. And then once we were doing the NICU biz, having someone come gave us one less thing to worry about. I would guess that no mama would turn down a little bit of toilet cleaning. Call around the area where the family lives and find a trustworthy source for scrubbing up their space.
14. Text Messages – Most of our friends sent texts and conversed with me while we were in-patient. This was beautiful because I felt rude talking on my phone in the communal zoo and I also could respond when it worked for me. This is free. And easy.
And then of course, there are the normal gifts including magazines, crosswords, snacks, visits, and more. I lived out of my purse. It was a crazy time. I mean, nutty bananas. And now, it’s passed. But it was made so very manageable by the lovely people in our life who supported us with love, prayers, and gifts.
If you’ve given gifts to a NICU family, what have you found to be hits and misses? What about families who have sick little ones who are hospitalized for a period of time? How do you make their lives easier?
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