Though pictured smiling with the bursts of 1000 sunshines, our smallest bambino has been in a bit of a tizzy this week. I’m not sure if it’s a teeth thing, a hatred for sweet potatoes and squash, or just general infant angst, but whatever it is, it’s got him pretty cheesed off. Which is, in and of itself, pretty impressive as I haven’t eaten cheese for about 1900 months. My guess would lean towards teeth but in parenting, guesses are basically as effective as timeout for my middlest. If not teeth, then perhaps Mr. H is nervy wervy over his upcoming reunion.
That’s right, folks. It’s H’s NICU reunion this weekend. Harrison, NICU graduate, Class of 2014, is headin’ back to where it all began. It’s time for him to strut his stuff back at his old stomping ground. In an effort to settle his nerves a bit, I hopped onto the World Wide Web and found some pretty incredible resources on how to prepare for a high school reunion in hopes that we could apply the same logic to his impending soiree.
I found an incredibly insightful and astute journalistic masterpiece on the resource to top all resources, WikiHow: Make People Notice You At Your High School Reunion. And after perusing the following link, I’m fairly certain this kid’s got nothin’ to get worked up about.
Step 1.
Have a Physical Tune-Up
While it seems a general goal prior to a high school reunion is to slim down, for a NICU reunion, I believe the primary goal would be to fatten up, chunktify, and otherwise, beef up. A fair amount of the babes he’ll be rubbing elbows with {btw babies rubbing elbows is about the funniest visual ever} were premature, so weight gain is a big hairy deal. I’m fairly certain this has been on his mind as H has been eating the Breastaurant out of house and home the last week and a half. I think he’s pretty much nailing this requirement. And if I had to guess, I’d put him at around 16+ pounds, which is more than 5 times his birth weight. Most average babies triple their birth weight by the time they’re diving into their smash cake. And yes, I’m saying this makes my originally 3 lber, above average, even if he’s not even in double digits yet in “the percentiles”.
As for clothing, we’ve yet to ascertain the ensemble for the day but it will likely be something that hasn’t yet been spitbombed by Captain Carrots and Super Sweet Potatoes. Or maybe he’ll just rock orange because in a few days, there’s a chance his nose will match that hue perfectly. I noticed he’s also been working on growing in his bald spot by bellying down a bit for slumber. And of course, if he has his way, the fire living inside his gums will have erupted by the weekend… though that is likely far beyond wishful thinking. But man, wouldn’t two new pearly whites be the crowning achievement in the physical tune-up department…
Step 2.
Bring the Right Date
The hubs and I, along with the two bros, will be in tow with Mr. Congeniality however his most preferred dates, Boob 1 and Boob 2, are really the only required attendees in his book. So we will be 7 strong. And the bros are buffing up on the very best of knock knock jokes in preparation for the littlest’s event.
Step 3.
Show Off Your Special Skills
He’s got skillz, alright. And I’m sure his NICU BFFs {shout out to his homies!} do as well. While I doubt Harrison will be sitting up, unassisted, without bending over into downward dog by the arrival of the big day, he is currently exceptional in the area of rolling from one room to the next, grabbing at things with the strength of the Incredible Hulk, and his spitting up continues to rival even the most proficient of spitters. He also lets Sophie the Giraffe know who’s the boss about 80 times a day. And of course, if he needs to pull out all the stops, I can offer for him to poop into hands, which, as I’ve discussed previously, he can perform with excellent accuracy. In the area of special skills, this kid’s got it in spades.
Step 4.
Engage Your Audience
One of his fans at the gym daycare proclaimed, “Harrison is going to be President someday. Or really famous.” This kid will win over even the most crumudgeony of crumudgeons with one crack of his wide-mouthed grin. And if he bats his eyelashes, you better watch yoself.
All in all, according to WikiHow, I think Mr. H diggity dog is in good shape for the shindig. I know that if he could say the thoughts rolling around in his noggin, he’d share that he’s probably most excited to see so many of the angels nurses who cared for him from his very first breaths. And a few of the doctors who made sure he was set for success. I don’t know if they’ll have tables set up for shaking hands and kissing babies or if it will just be a full-out free for all. Regardless, there are a special few that given any overwhelming wave of nostalgia, I may end up wanting to open-mouth kiss… because that’s not awkward, right?
Why do we want to go back to the NICU, a place of so much scary stuff and uncertainty, some may ask? Well, if you’ll recall, we were pretty much in love with the NICU experience we received. And it continues that not a day passes that I go without thanking my lucky stars for that exceptional care. And while I fear that I may need to choke back tears as I enter the place where we met our third boy, I mostly believe that we’ll all be reunited and it will feel so good.
Check out other posts on our NICU experience:
Welcome to the World, Little One…
First They’re Ours…
My Milkbags Bring All The Boys To The Yard…
Life In The NICU…
Gifts of the Season…
Harrison Honeydidn’t…
Every Day Is A New Day…
What’s The Haps, Mr. Harrison…
Movin’ Right Along…
Bugs, Be Gone…
What Does The Doc Say…
Are We Being Punk’d…
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