B: I like how that one is so close to your skin. And how it has the stripes. It makes you look like a zebra.
B: Why do you want a dress? You don’t wear dresses.
J: Girls wear dresses. You’re a mommy. Not a girl.
Me: Those hangers are not weapons.
B: Why do you have to come in a dressing room? So no one else can see your belly button and your knees? I’m bored. When are we gonna be done?
J: I like this one. I want to lick it.
Me: Stop licking the clothes. They’re not clean.
J: Why are they not clean?
Me: Because other people try them on, too.
B: Other people put these clothes on too? That’s gross.
Giggles. Screeching. Screaming. Continuously.
Me: Please take your hand out of your pants.
B: But we’re in private.
Me: I suppose I do say it’s okay in private.
Me: Can you guys tone it down a bit? We’re in a public place. Other people want to enjoy their experience.
B: I really hope you get the zebra one. Zebras say “bray bray” and our last name is Brehm so you could wear that and say “Brehm Brehm”.
Me: Put the hangers down.
J: Psh!Psh!Pop!
Me: That is not a gun. Put it down.
J: I wanna gooooo!
Me: Okay, we’re done.
J: Why aren’t you getting the zebra one?! I WANT THE ZEBRA ONE!
Me: Fine. I’ll get the black and white striped one. That is “close to my skin” apparently.
………
And that, my friends, is just a snippet as to why I am dressed the way I am, on any given day. Because my wardrobe consists of clothing that I purchase because I want my children to stop screaming. And that they like because it makes me look like a wildlife safari. Or because it has a superhero logo on it.
I find shopping with three kids to be darn near impossible. I would rather go to a high school Calc class than go shopping with my children. Okay. Maybe not that. Because that’s basically like a death chamber. But I am at a place where I may never buy clothes again. I do a good bit of running into stores and buying basics without trying on, have a fashion show at home and then making returns for size, fit, and overall poor choices. And also do a fair amount of online ordering from different stores. Do you take your kiddos shopping? If you do, how do you make it work? If not, do you order from a CAbi stylist, Stitch Fix, or something else? I’m up for suggestions, especially if it means no one in the dressing room is going to ask me about my “pepperonis” {and thanks, Shane, for that reference} or my “smiley face scar”. First world problems, this I know, but sometimes, even mommy needs a dress, even though I’m apparently, not a girl. So you tell me, how do you shop with the littles along?
You might also like
The Crown on my Head
January 27, 2016
My Point Of View
January 7, 2016
Making Waves: How I Curl My Hair
May 13, 2015
