Well friends… We are one month into 2015. Well, actually a month and change. As usual, I am so perfectly on schedule around these parts. And completely put together. {And I continue to hate selfies but let’s be real, it’s an occupational necessity sometimes.}
Did you make resolutions for this trip around the sun? I very intentionally chose a word for this year, in lieu of true resolutions. Remember that post? If you don’t, you can read it here. The gist is, I have a lot that I want to fit into this year. Things that I want to introduce into my life, or reintroduce back into my world, bit by bit. And with that in mind, I chose the word WHOLE. And I determined I would start the year with two goals, and then add in two each month of the year.
Focusing on my WHOLE self.
What about you? Did you decide to give your year a theme, or a word? Did you decide that 2014 was not your year and so, simply put, your goal in 2015 is to make it through? Well, however you chose to attack {or not attack} it, we are one month in, friends.
So let’s have a check-in, shall we?
I made two goals for the month of January.
1. I am not going to yell at my kids. Unless of course they burn the house down. Or severely injure a sibling.
2. Stop putting myself down.
Here’s how they went…
1. Gah. Two weeks in, I thought I had this in the bag, you guys. I seriously put so much effort not only into not yelling but into not nitpicking, not harping, and tempering my frustrations. In no way did I do this to become besties with my boys, but rather to create a more positive environment day in and day out. But then… then, there was a mac and cheese incident that made me very dissatisfied with the 5 year old’s spoiled behavior. Don’t blame it on the rain, folks. Blame it on the mac. On the 30th day of January, the pot boiled over. The pot that holds mama’s emotions could no longer contain them. That’s kind of how I operate. And it’s not a trait that I like about myself. I am quick tempered. So, when it happened, when I yelled, I found myself, shortly after, in tears. And then I apologized. To my child. For yelling at him. Maybe that’s wrong… I don’t know. Maybe he’ll remember his mommy yelling. Maybe he’ll remember her tear-stained face and think she was completely insane. Or maybe he’ll remember that she apologized because we all choose our behavior and we are responsible for it. Maybe that last one. For that, I am hopeful. Overall, I’m giving myself a C+ for goal one. Although C is for cookie, in this instance, it’s not good enough for me, and as such, I will continue to work on it with each month of the year. Also, thanks to my longtime friend, Megan, for bringing the Orange Rhino campaign to my attention. It made me feel less bad about what I perceived as my yelling and also gives some good Revelations on Yelling.
2. In regards to putting myself down, one of my main areas of focus was to start acknowledging my writing as a viable part of me. And I do think think, in terms of acknowledging my writing, I’ve really attempted to work on this, every day. I started submitting writings. Which is hard. Re-reading your own writing and not completely tearing it apart, is hard. But I’m doing it. I updated my resume to reflect some of my writing and contribution gigs. I’ve even started saying out loud at times, that while it is a hobby, it is something that I am starting to think I may have some talent toward. Man. That sentence was tortured wasn’t it? As an adult, for some reason, it’s hard to say those words. I think I might be good at this. Is it hard for you to give yourself compliments? If so, what’s stopping you? In fact, I dare you to stop reading this right now and write down, or text yourself, or whisper to yourself, something about you that is uniquely fantastic. No, really. Do it. I’ll give you a second………..
Did you do it?
I think that’s the mental shift I am trying to create in myself and so I need to say, every so often, what’s stopping you from loving the good things about yourself? So I will continue this on the writing front. But I need to start applying it to other areas of my life, too. Life’s too short to not get to know the person living in your skin and celebrate that person!
February WHOLE self goals…
1. Guitar!
I am really doing it! My dusty, never used guitar has been exhumed and I have my very first guitar lesson TONIGHT with a girl that I find wildly talented. I haven’t been this excited since the hogs ate my brother and I got his shoes. {Just go with it, people.} She says I’ll know a song the first night. I say, I’m just happy to be doing something with the gift I received for my 25th birthday. And yes, I am now 32. Doesn’t it take everyone 7 years to use their birthday gifts?
2. Drink tea every day
Silly, right? I actually really dig this one. It’s a small change, that I think will, in the long run, create good habits. I’ve been slowly trying to whittle down the amount of soda I consume. When I worked at a PR agency right out of college, I drank upwards of 9 or 10 diet sodas a day. How’s that for aspartame overload? Over time, I’ve gone down to 2ish a day. I don’t see myself totally cutting it out. I still LOVE diet coke. But often, I’m just cracking a DC because I’m watered out. In place of soda, I’ve been drinking some hot tea every afternoon with honey in it. Partially because it’s still a good naptime/alone time change-up. Partially because I’m 80. But I do think it helps me unwind. And relax. And I dig that. So I’m gonna make it part of my day. Part of figuring out and nurturing the WHOLE person who you carry with you, I think, is thinking about what you’re putting in your body and really giving some thought to how it makes you feel. This is something I’m trying to be more in-tuned to for 2015.
I want to know how you are feeling about 2015 so far. Is it blowing 2014 out of the water? Or do you feel like you gave up on your new year optimism two weeks in?
Just remember, life’s too short to not know who you are and celebrate it. If even, just only, for one single moment, every day. We are all works in progress. Every single one of us.
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