Agh! It’s Valentine’s Day. Tomorrow.
I’m not great at Valentine’s Day. The chances of me hauling my three children to Victoria’s Secret with me today are between 0 and 0. I gifted my copy of “1001 Ways to be Romantic” that I bought circa 2002 to Goodwill earlier this year. And if it weren’t for the laser hair removal {go to Milan. Seriously. The gift that keeps on giving} I’ve been doing, I can guarantee you, my legs would be hairy. Like Animal.
So what am I going to get for the Mr? Why, a mixed tape of course. Okay, not exactly a mixed tape. Because true mixed tapes are kinda dead, right? Womp womp womp. Sad trombone. I fear that my children will completely miss out on the amazingness of the mixed tape. I’m not saying they’ll never have the chance to listen to music via cassette, but the reality is, if they want to mix a bunch of songs together to profess their love for a certain someone in their 7th grade Earth Science class, it will likely be in the form of sending them iTunes via hologram. Because 7th grade for my children is at minimum 7 years away, and by then, I’m 84% certain we’ll be legit living Back to the Future. And they’ll be riding hover boards to school. And donning self-lacing tennies. But I digress…
A mixed tape is just the thing to help mama summon her mojo that may have gone missing beneath the sweat pants and greasy hair {yes. I am officially a cliche}. But unless you still have your purple ghettoblaster with the black shoulder strap stowed away in storage somewhere {and if you do, I want to see a picture of it}, you also probably don’t do a whole lot of mixed tapes these days. More sad trombone. BUT never fear, iTunes is here.
And what to put on the list? Here are my suggestions for a good old-fashioned make out playlist to woo your main squeeze. Forget 50 shades, people. Heavy petting and smooching for hours on end is sure to spice up your life a little. Because remember when you were dating and you would make out til’ dawn? Well, maybe it’s time you brought back the make out wiiiiiiith…
Mama’s Valentine’s Make Out Mixed Tape
// Thinking out loud by Ed Sheeran
I am serious with this song. Do not even listen to it if you are not ready to make out, people. Because it is make out music at its finest. Start your list out with this and sub in whenever you feel yourself nodding off to sleep {not that that would ever happen}. Also, if you only have time to download one song and one song only, I highly recommend that this be it. It is make out central.
// Let’s get it on by Marvin Gaye
It’s an oldie but a goody for a reason. If your spouse does not get the Ed Sheeran hint then you may have to drop the subtleties and pull out the big guns. For that, Marvin is your man.
// Anything by Milli Vanilli
If you haven’t romanced your spouse in a few days… weeks… months… however long… just call on Milli Vanilli. Remember them? They got in trouble for lip syncing before auto tuning existed. Because if you feel like you wanna blame something for losing your mojo, you can blame it on the rain. Both Milli and Vanilli will help you remember that you can always just fake it ’til you make it. Come on girl. You know it’s true.
// Pitseleh by Elliott Smith
Remember when you were dating your significant other and you hadn’t yet entered wedded bliss? Remember when you didn’t have children together? Remember when those children you didn’t have also didn’t have 9 million toys and none of those 9 million toys were shoved under your comforter when you turned in for the night? In those days, there was probably a song that always came up on your playlist. That song, for me, was Pitseleh. What was yours?
// Islands in the stream by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers
I know, haters gonna hate. But trust me. It is one of the best songs in existence. And if for no other reason than that, you should make out to it.
// We are young by Fun
Because you are. You just need a reminder. A reminder that will help you forget that have had boogers on your hands throughout the day. Ones that weren’t yours. Which I’m not really sure makes it better or worse. I would however, make sure not to actually set the world on fire. You have children in the house, after all.
// It’s your love by Tim McGraw and Faith Hill
Now that you are in your young frame of mind, remember when you were 15? And you waited for that one song to be played at the school dance? And then you waited for that one person to ask you to dance? Tim and Faith totally rocked that genre for me. Insert that song here.
// Come get it bae by Pharrell
Who says make out tunes have to be slow and sappy? Play whenever you want to lighten the mood. Don’t take your making out or yourself too seriously. That will be a buzzkill for sure. You may also want to play this if you want to ascertain whether he wants to ride your motorcycle, apparently.
// Feels Like Home by Chantal Kreviazuk
Remember that time you got married? And then you danced at that wedding reception you had? Insert that song here.
// Falling Slowly by Kris Allen, We’ve got tonight by Bob Seger, Stay with me by Sam Smith, Let me by Pat Green
These are the “back pocket songs”. Play these when you feel like you need a mood boost. They are all sure things. Pure heat.
// I gotta get thru this by Daniel Bedingfeld
Just in case.
// Your body is a wonderland by John Mayer
Because if you’re a mama, then truly… your body is a wonderland. A wonderland that may have harbored humans or carries them around day after day.
// These are the days by Van Morrison
The lyrics to this song are for listening. Play this song if you are post-makeout snugglers. If you’re not, play this song while you go fill your water cup for the night.
// Blank Space by Taylor Swift
This bares no explanation outside of I now love T Swift. I can’t help it. But I do. And this song is perfect for any occasion. All she does is makes hits.
So, yeah. You don’t need flowers or a crazy expensive Prix Fixe menu. Just mix up your own tunes and have a throwback make out mash-up with your main mister or mrs. (Whew! Say that 7 times fast!}
That’s some of what would be on this mama’s V Day mix. What’s on yours?
Happy day of love, hugs, and kisses!
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