We Still Can't Handle The Tooth

Ack! Seriously. Teething is just atrocious. Not, of course, in the same vein of atrociousness that has been captured on the news as of late, but a brand of atrocious, in the way of small volumes of atrociousness, just the same. And Harrison fully agrees. Just ask Sophie.

Uuuuuuugh. Is it really that much to ask that babies start being born with full sets of exposed teeth? We have yet to have a child who does not get all of a dither when the chompers are developing. I can’t say as I blame them. I pretty much find having a popcorn kernel stuck between two teeth to be more painful than childbirth {okay. maybe not actually.} so I can only imagine that having my nibblers erupting from beneath my gums would be pretty absurd. But what I want to know is this…

WHAT ACTUALLY HELPS TEETHING TROUBLES?

I know, your gramps would probably offer the ol’ whiskey rub. But I am fairly certain infant drinking has really gone downhill since 1916. And the pediatricians office would advise Tylenol, and a frozen teething ring. But seriously people, these items do not even touch the emotions of my children whilst paining through the grand reveals of their pearly whites. We’ve got fussing, biting, gnawing, crying, and booby bruises, just to name a few… and none of it seems to be making any of the pain subside {and yes, if you re-read that, I said booby bruises. and yes, I meant to type booby bruises}. I’ve tried a bit of ibuprofen and that seems to take the edge off for a bit but I can’t medicate my kid for life… especially if it takes a month for these jerks to show themselves. For J bird, I purchased a voodoo teething necklace but all that did was made him look like a drooly frat boy. So alas, I just don’t know how to handle the tooth.

If you’re thinking my kids are belly-aching, gassy, finicky, particular, wimps… you very well could be right. Or if you’re thinking momma’s got no patience, then you’re definitely right. But that’s neither here nor there… because I gotta get through this {and Daniel Bedingfield is no help either} and so does H dogg. And the rest of the fab 5.