No More Flying Saucers

That got me thinking about my school lunches as a kid. First, let me just say that I have no idea how often I took my lunch but I do know that when I did, I had two meals of preference. Sure, every once and awhile I think I recall taking a thermos of Spaghettios or Beefaroni {don’t even think I’m joking}. Or maybe a peanut butter and jelly {grape jelly, obvi. I don’t even think strawberry existed then}. But my favorites were one of two items:

1. Bologna and Velveeta cheese on white bread

2. Cheez Whiz sandwich on white bread

I have no clue what I took as sides though I assume there was some kind of plastic-y fruit roll-up or fruit by the foot, possibly some sort of chip selection, and maybe an apple. Those seem like normal companions for that era. But I don’t think I cared one ounce what was on the side because there was nothing quite as delicious as a cheez whiz sandwich. Seriously. {Side note: I purchased a jar of the Whiz while pregnant with Barrett and it was basically as amazing as I remembered it to be. It may also contain 27,000 mg of sodium. So there’s that…}

I also had my fair share of hot lunches. I can recall that my very favorite option, hands down, without a single doubt in my mind, was an item called a Fiestada, which was an octagon-shaped taco pizzaesque tasting item that had to have been a distant cousin to Totinos pizza and Amigos’ Soft Pinto. Which was odd because I hated pizza as a child. But this little dreamboat… get in my belly. 

And my least favorites were in this order:

3. Wolverines – our school mascot was the Wolverine. This particular item was a knock-off McRib. But I think the mere thought that I was eating our school mascot created a lifelong aversion to this meat creation.

2. Ham patties – these had a texture that combined both a gelatinous sensation and rubber. And I think there was ham in it. So they said.

1. Flying saucers – this is no joke, people. The flying saucer was fried bologna topped with a scoop of mashed potatoes {instant mashed potatoes. GAG.}. And a slice of American cheese. One on top of the other. It. Was disgusting. And American Cheese was not a mainstay at our house {obviously, with the cheeze whiz and the velveeta in my selections} so even looking at it caused my uvula to revolt. So this entree was a surefire milk-carton-stuffer.

Outside of my love for the exotic flavors of cheese substances, I think I was probably a picky eater as a child but now, I can and will eat anything that classifies as edible. But sadly, our children, they are severely picky eaters. And not just like kid picky but like I-will-gag-if-you-make-me-eat-hamburger picky.  

So when I packed Barrett’s lunch for the first day, I included:

1. Peanut butter and jelly

2. Applesauce pouch

3. Baby carrots

4. Fruit strip

5. Apple

6. Milk

7. Granola bar

No. He was not taking a napsack for lunch, dinner and tomorrow’s breakfast at school. He was not using his lunch to feed thousands. I guess I just got so stinkin’ nervous that he wouldn’t eat, and I gave him 80 million choices.  

The days continued kind of like this. With an all-you-can-handle buffet packed in his lunch bag. And every day, I’d take out what he didn’t eat and save it for the next day. Filling it to the brim with possible options. 

And then, three weeks into school, as we talked on our way home from pick-up, on one of the three days he has chosen hot lunch, and I asked him, “How was lunch?” And he answered, “It was good. I only ate the chicken nuggets though. Not the pasta. Because I was eating but I was also talking to my friends. That’s what we do, you know. And by the way, mommy… can you not put so much stuff in my lunchbag? There’s not that much time. And I want to eat and talk”. {Gah! My sister told me this!} And I remembered, that was the best part of lunch. That’s why I don’t remember all the deets, outside of the really horrible items and the glorious Cheez Whiz concoction. Because sitting by my classmates and learning to have conversations and laughing at the things 5 year olds laugh at and figuring out who was going to the school carnival and how we hoped to snag the Welch’s Strawberry Soda in the Pop Toss… Those were the best parts of my lunch. There was a noise-monitoring legit traffic light that buzzed and turned red when our noise was to the level of obnoxious. And we had food-checks before we could throw out our tray and so we’d stuff parts of our entrees in our milk carton. And then we’d scrape all of our extras into the large grey trash cans where everyone’s cast-offs combined to make leftover mush. The food was sort of extraneous, in a sense. The experience of it all was the real deal.  It was not just the food… it was learning rules, independence, and a general camaraderie over all doing the same thing and doing it without our parents present. Which in and of itself, made it pretty damn fun.

So I’ve lightened up his lunch a bit. I mean, I still want him to eat. But I don’t include a Food Court in his lunchbox any longer. Less choices, easier time figuring out what to eat, and a little more time to focus on his favorite part, the company around him and get enough in his belly to survive the afternoon. And I have to say, as we went through his hot lunch choices for this month, I found myself amazed at the modern day options of Southwest Chicken Salad and Veggie Foccacia. Apparently bologna has really fallen off the grid. As have “tea rolls”. And the fact that they don’t ever get to experience the fear of misplacing a lunch ticket, well, that’s just a travesty.

What was the craziest concoction on your school lunch menu? What was the sure-to-be-stuffed in your milk carton? What was your fave that you craved? Do you make lunch for your kiddos? Are you a bento box mama, a hot lunch fam, or somewhere in between?