Why Aren't You Smiling, Mama

Photo Credit: Teen

Every morning, when I drop the oldest off at school, I always cross paths with one specific mom, also dropping off her child. Every morning, through my sunnies, I make eye contact, acknowledge with a slight head raising, and smile. Every afternoon, I do the same. And every day, she returns my gesture with a blank stare. It was really no big deal until the day I made the mistake of speaking to her to tell her I realized that we live just blocks apart. And our boys are both in Kindergarten. She responded with a grimace as if holding up a sign that read don’t feed the animals. Truly, not a word was spoken back to me. Even after I repeated myself thinking that, perhaps, she had a small bit of earwax lodged in her ear canal. Radio. Silence. And since, I’ve not spoken a whisper but am secretly screaming inside my head I’M NOT A FREAK, I’M JUST AN EXTROVERT! {And in all truth, I am waaaaay less extroverted than I used to be. Kids’ll do that to ya.}

Do you ever walk by someone and wonder why they look so glum? I hate to sound judgy, because it really goes against my whole mommy mantra, but I do. I wonder why some people always look sad or unhappy or like they just ate poop. Well, I do. And then my head starts to tumble and produce hypothetical answers to the question, Why aren’t you smiling, mama? And then I make up hypothetical responses, as if we are having a conversation. Like we’re friends. Even though the other party is actually just scowling at me. I think the real reason it bothers me is, my personality is to want to help people if they’ve got a problem and so, I really just want to know…

Why aren’t you smiling, mama?

:: Is it because the sun’s in your eyes? Or you have some sort of eye infection that prevents you from making out shapes and faces? Give me a smile and I’ll give you the name of an excellent optometrist who can check your eyes and fit you for some new shades. Seriously… I know a gal.

Why aren’t you smiling, mama?

:: Is it because you’re an introvert? You’re in luck, mama, having near and dear introverts in my life, I have been schooled on the proper care and feeding of them. I have to remind myself… but I can accept that maybe you’re not unhappy, you’re just a keep-to-yourselfer. And maybe, even, someone like me with my smiles and small talk, maybe I actually drain you. I’m sorry, mama.

Why aren’t you smiling, mama?
:: Is it because you think my smile is fake? I can assure you, it isn’t. Seeing other people just makes my lips curl up towards the sun. Maybe it’s a medical condition. I’m not sure.

Why aren’t you smiling, mama?

:: Maybe the baby kept you up all night? Or you were up with a scared toddler? Or do you suffer from insomnia which causes you to be up at all hours, only to fall asleep minutes before your alarm summons you from your sheets? I get it, mama. I’m livin’ that life.

Why aren’t you smiling, mama?

:: Maybe you’ve got some big stuff you’re dealing with? Maybe your mom is ill? Or your dad is in the nursing home? Or your sister has breast cancer? Or you’re dealing with the post-baby blues? Maybe all of that baggage is weighing down the curvature of your mouth. I’m sorry mama, that sounds like a lot.

Why aren’t you smiling, mama?

:: Did your child just throw a monumental tantrum in the car? Causing you to pull all your eyebrow hairs out? One by one. And now you’re so concerned that if you move your face, someone may notice your lack of brow hairs? We have car tantrums daily. They are not fun. And the eyebrows? It’s okay, mama, they’ll grow back and even if they don’t, your sparkling personality is enough for me.

Why aren’t you smiling, mama?
:: Are you doing all of this alone? The kid stuff, the job stuff, and all of the stuff? You must be Super Woman!

Why aren’t you smiling, mama?
:: Is your teenager getting into mischief? Or your sixth grader just deciding they don’t need you? And you just want to enjoy the drop-offs alone, with your last little babe? I’m not there yet mama, but I will be someday. And I’ll come to you for your wisdom.

Why aren’t you smiling, mama?

:: Are you just focused on a getting to work on time? Or what you’re going to make for dinner? Or how you are possibly going to fit in getting to the store? Maybe you just don’t have time for pleasantries. That’s okay. Sounds like a busy day ahead, mama. Hope it goes well.

Why aren’t you smiling, mama?

:: Did your baby pee all over your first outfit of the day, and now you’re wearing the second option and you hate it? Because you have a big meeting today and you never feel confident in orange. It’s okay, mama. I think you rock in orange! And guess what? If you’d smile, you’d be fully dressed. Not smiling… well… you’re never fully dressed without a smile.

Why aren’t you smiling, mama?

:: Are you maybe trying to gain weight? And you are aware that it takes more muscles to smile than frown, and you just can’t chance the calorie burn? I’ll buy you a Snickers. That should do the trick.

Why aren’t you smiling, mama?

:: Is your husband a jerkface? Or is your boss a meany pants? Perhaps your husband’s ex makes your mornings miserable? Or maybe someone kicked your dog? Dog kicking is never okay. Neither are meany pants bosses and jerkface husbands.

Why aren’t you smiling, mama?

:: Perhaps you just don’t enjoy happy people? I once had a high school classmate tell me he wanted to shoot my face off because I was always smiling. True story. Some people just aren’t into it. Me, on the other hand, smiling is one of my favorite past times.

Why aren’t you smiling, mama?

:: Maybe you’re just not a morning person? And your coffee is still waking you up? Yeah. Mornings are a lot of work. I drink Diet Coke in the mornings. Coffee and my baby aren’t on the best of terms.

Why aren’t you smiling, mama?

:: Maybe that’s just what your smile looks like? I believe there’s a mythical condition known as resting b*tch face. I know, that sounds harsh. But the phrase kinda makes sense. Maybe you actually think you’re smiling. But in reality, you are actually physically incapable. That’s unfortunate.

Why aren’t you smiling, mama?
:: Do you only have so many smiles to dole out each day and I do not make the cut? I get it. We are strangers, after all. But one day, could you give me one? Just so I can shout Mission Accomplished at the top of my lungs!

I don’t know which particular reason it is for you, mama. But I can say, I sorta get it. We’re all busy. We’ve all got stuff. We all have our ups and downs. We don’t always like everyone. Some days are just bad. And sometimes we aren’t accepting any additional applications for friends. But I don’t want to date you. I just want to be cordial. And maybe that’s not your style either. And as the musical genius, Bobby Brown, has taught us, that’s your prerogative. So you be you and frown away, mama. But don’t be offended, because I will continue to be me, too, and smile back. It’s my favorite.